FORGET LOVE AT FIRST SITE – SURVEY REVEALS AUSSIE GUYS NEED TO DO A GREAT JOB AT CRACKING A JOKE IN ORDER TO SNATCH A WOMAN

 

A recent national survey, conducted by Australia’s modern-day sugar daddy dating site, Aluxxa.com has revealed that Australian women value humour and great job ahead of sex, honesty and physical appearance when sourcing their ideal man. The study conducted on SurveyMonkey with an impartial audience surveyed 3,367 single Australian women, (49.2% respondents aged 18 to 29) set out to discover the top five qualifying traits women look for in a male partner.

 

Australian women love to laugh, with 63% of women voting sense of humour as the number one criteria when selecting their men and having a great job (60.5%) as runners up. There’s no surprises here that being great in bed (46.7% of women) made it to third base (err place); a trifecta which was shortly followed by 43.4% of women who selected having his own place as the fourth qualifying criteria and honesty scraping into spot number five (38.7%). The good news for men is Australian women don’t seem to be skin deep, with only one in three women selecting physical appearance as a top five trait.

 

“Having a great sense of humor has always been a top trait women look for in a man but since the global economic downturn having a good job has become increasingly important. That is one of the main reasons Aluxxa.com has been so successful”. Alexander DeCoste, VP for Marketing at Aluxxa.com

 

It seems senior suitors are in season. Celebrity couples Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta Jones (25 years difference in age), Jay-Z and Beyoncé (12 years difference in age) Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie (11 years difference in age); are reflective of Australian findings, with 54.8% of women stating they would be willing to date a man 10 to 20 years older.

 

Older man, better job…. You get the drift!

 

The world of virtual online dating has gained converts over the years and contributes to 81.2% of Australian women having tried online dating or would be willing to explore the service. Findings indicate traditional methods of matchmaking (at bars or blind dating) have been taken over by the love at first byte phenomenon.

GUEST POST** Date Like A Gay Guy….How changing your approach could improve your success

As two gay men that specialise in relationships we are constantly called upon to counsel our female family members and friends in a Sex in the City style Stanford Blatch and Carrie Bradshaw de-brief…although let it be said we both still have a full head of hair!

Why take our advice? Well, like you we dated, fell in love with and had our hearts broken by men and obviously we also have the advantage of also being one!

So, let’s start at the beginning…

The more you date, the more you learn about yourself and dating becomes easier. Logical yes? Practice really does make perfect, not necessarily a perfect date but closer to finding the perfect guy for you based on weeding out the rubbish!

Date one, most men consider a date simply a date. It’s a chance for both of you to get to know a little more about each other, don’t get ahead of yourself.

Most men won’t object to a little ego stroking and genuine interest in them but start the way you want to finish. You deserve the same in return so don’t give him all of your attention.

What qualities do you look for in man? Honesty, sense of humour, intelligence, manners, a friend? No doubt you have a pretty good idea of what you want so make sure you be that person too. Playing games and not showing the real you will only ever attract the wrong kind of guy.

Positivity and confidence will be the key to your successful game change. How many times have you been drawn to a guy that is theoretically the complete opposite of what you would consider your ‘type’? I would hazard a guess it was his charismatic swagger, cheeky smile and great conversation that attracted you well before you realised your checklist had been de-railed.

In some respects men are simple creatures. They don’t over analyse things and the way they show love can be more subtle, so don’t expect your love to be returned in the same way although the feelings could be just as strong.

We also know that men value physical appearance, that’s an obvious one, but before you reach for your salad it doesn’t mean stick thin bodies and the latest Chanel collection it means healthy body and mind, someone that values themselves enough to look after their appearance.

Finally, guys want to feel needed but not suffocated. Desperation is not a good look for anyone, no matter how hot you are.

Turn the tables on your dating disasters and take control. Dating isn’t rocket science and men definitely don’t treat it as such, so keep it simple and good luck!

Vinko Anthony & Andrea Anthony

Beau Brummell Introductions www.beaubrummellintroductions.com

Celebrity relationships – Is there one, seriously one, that will work?!

 

I challenge you to name one celebrity relationship that has stood the test of time, bumps in the road and paparazzi intrusion – who can you say has stood together as a unit, showing that they have a bind that not even Hollywood can break? In light on the TomKat divorce revelation, not that I can say I’m surprised, oh and Johnny Deep and Vanessa Paradis, it only further reinforces to me that Hollywood marriages just can’t stand the heat in the kitchen!

Well I’ll concede to Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell, who have been in relationship since 1983, which is practically a lifetime by Hollywood standards, however they never officially married – maybe that’s the trick??

Ahh, I have thought of one, it took a lot of time and a little bit of help from Google, Antonio Banderas and Melanie Griffith, who married in 1996 – however it is worth noting that it is neither of the couple’s first marriage.

The only celebrity marriage that I can think of that is still going strong, which was both parties first marriage – Jay Z and Beyonce Knowles – After 12 years  – they’re flying the flag of the celebrity ‘super power couple’ that are proving their critics wrong!

I remember sitting with my high school friends and listing couples that we saw to be ‘united’, ‘solid’ and ‘loving’, these couples we announced to each other, should they ever break up, have rumours of infidelity or let us down, it would prove that there is no hope out there for us!

The list was (oh how naive we were…)

1. Posh and Becks
2. Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Philippe
3. Jennifer Anniston and Brad Pitt
4. Tess Daly and Vernon Kay (British TV presenters)
5. Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey (I know, I knooowwww!!!)

 

Looking kinda ‘shady’ there Ryan… Just sayin!

Yup that was our top five couples… The five couples we truly believed had found ‘The One’, the couples that we would look up to forever as a shining example of true love… HOW WRONG WE WERE – Not one, not ONE, of the couples have seen out the past twelve years without infidelity rumours, divorces and two of the ‘golden couples’ have even remarried to other shining stars!

 

So as a test to myself and true love, I’ll list five couples that are together now that I would like to see still with their partners (notice i don’t say marriage, as in all honesty, I can’t for the life of my think of any!) in ten years time, question is, “Would you bet your bottom dollar on ANY of the below?”.

1. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie
2. Jennifer Anniston and Justin Theroux
3. Jennifer Lawrence and Nicholas Hoult
4. Emma Stone and Andrew Garfield
5. Here’s a two-for-one for good measure: Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez (ahem) or Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth

 

Ahhh young love… me…cynic?!

So am I being a cynic here? I’d love to know your thoughts…

Should I ask him to add me on Facebook? – worse still should I add him… No to all of the above!

Ahh the perils of the modern world, the politics and what we ‘should’ or ‘shouldn’t do’, there is no written rule book about what the ‘right’ thing to do is, however there are plenty of ‘opinions’ out there that are often misconstrued as ‘facts’. (I maybe am going slightly overboard here with the ‘inverted commas’ however I’ll continue because I can!)

I’ve been guilty on more than one occasion of randomly adding people on Facebook after we’ve shared a moment of eye contact, or you know, held a conversation for longer than 30 seconds, or one step further spent the night (one) together.

When I took it upon myself to ask these ‘friends’ to be my Facebook friend, I was not only opening them up to be a facebook friend, no, I was inviting them to have a front row seat into the drama that is my life (well my life since I joined the book of face in 2007 – Cripes, that’s five years ago…).

A lot has happened in the past five years, relationships have broken down, I’ve travelled the world, I’ve moved across the pond, had more boozy nights out than I care (want) to remember and underneath all that, have it displayed on line on an ever so efficient timeline for all my facebook friends/ acquaintances/ people I met on a Groovy Grape tour about three years ago and have never seen since to have access to at the click of a mouse.

It does baffle me, as for someone that’s quite guarded when it comes to opening up (not anonymously I might add) about my personal life and history, why I found it so easy to click ‘add fiend’ to someone I’ve just met, that I possibly fancied and wanted to get to know better…

Worse still, I’ve pestered a guy I was dating to add me on facebook on more than one occasion, he wasn’t someone I was exclusive with, in fact we’d never even been on a date, he was my Saturday night go-to guy and I was the same for him (but girl-type obvs!). Now I have the benefit of a lil’ thing called perspective, I can now see why he might have been a little bit reluctant to accept me as a ‘friend’ and in that provide me with a golden ticket to peak into the window into his private life.

On the flip side, when guys have let me add them or they’ve followed up on my request for them to add me, because apparently it’s better that way… (seriously I have friends that refuse to add anyone as a friend, but see noooo drama at all in asking a guy to add them as ‘they’ve never added anyone on facebook’ the mind boggles!) Who have gone cold once the dreaded accept friend request tab has been clicked. No doubt it was because they’d lost interest after scanning my picture and have seen me on many a night out, looking worse for wear, along with images and albums that contain pictures of me with dates from girlfriend’s past!

I also think that it very much has the potential to put you slap bang into middle of the ‘clingy’ category if you add them on facebook too soon/ first/ ask them to add you. I genuinely think that if a guy likes you or sees a future, they’ll add you on FB once you’ve got to know each other better and are genuine friends outside of the cyber world. Alternatively, if you add them and they see a possible future, are you willing to open the can of worms that they might see something they don’t like too soon that raises questions that probably wouldn’t play on their mind should they have got to have know then ‘real’ you first!

There’s first date dating etiquette – one of the rules I started to live by was to not reveal my entire life story before the first course, so why in god’s name did I feel it was acceptable to add a guy on the book of face and open him up to my 67 albums (I knooowwww!) my status updates from the past five years and pictures of my ex, before I even know if he had any brothers or sisters.

No doubt that the advent of social media has changed the dating landscape and we’re all learning as we go, the advise that I would like to impart, is to imagine that facebook is one of your friends that always says the wrong thing at the wrong time, reveals information that little bit too soon to your potential significant other and shows pictures of you looking less than ideal (i.e. last St Paddy’s Day with a pint of Guinness dribbling down your chin!)When all you want to be perceived as is a ‘tidy bird’ with class and sophistication. Facebook my dear loyal followers is the cyber version of that mate, you know that you like them and when you spend time with them you have fun catching up on the gossip of others, but you know to keep them at arms length when there’s a new man in town.

So in answer to my initial questions

• Should I ask him to add me on facbook – NO!
• Should I add him on Facebook – NO!

And one more:

• Should I realistically not add him on Facebook until at least the fourth date – What do you think, I’m guessing – NO!

The cyber ages might be changing the dating landscape, but don’t let them change your dating style – always keep some of you back – leave them wanting more – don’t have them reaching for the ‘delete friend’ tab, it will only end in tears before bedtime, TRUST ME!

Wills and Kate – Is it ever right to get back with an ex?

There’s an article at the moment on Australian Women’s Weekly that provides an insight as to the tactics that allowed Kate to win back Wills (I don’t think I need to provide clarification as to who they are!). Now I’ve always come from the train of thought that if you split up with somebody you should leave it there and move on, otherwise you run the risk of never letting go f the reasons why you split up in the first place and becoming a resentful, insecure GF. I say this only from my own experience!

I got back with my ex time and time again and every time I’d snipe at him about who/ what he’s don’t whilst we’d be ‘on a break’ and I know each time I got back with him, that despite his pleading and assurance that he’d ‘change’, that we’d be right back in the same situation in 6 – 9 months time. It becomes quite tiring after a while.

I am aware that Will and Kate are still together and most probably will stay together, however I feel that they are more a case of ‘the exception’ rather the ‘the rule’.

I knew I’d get him in the end

Here’s what the article by Penny Junor had to say:

Prince William and Kate Middleton appear to have the ultimate fairy tale romance but just five years ago, William dumped his loyal girlfriend so he could spend more time clubbing with his friends.

Now, British author Penny Junor has revealed why William ended his relationship with Kate — and what sent him running back — in her controversial new book Prince William: Born to be King.

Junor says the 2007 break-up was entirely William’s decision, brought on by his fears that monogamy was impossible.

“The problem was William: he had very real worries about whether it was possible to love just one woman,” Junor writes.

“After his hurricane childhood, he was understandably cautious about committing to a relationship.

“In his early years, he’d also lost many people he was close to. Subconsciously, he may have been wary of allowing himself to become too attached to Kate, in case she too abandoned him.”

At the time of the split, William was serving with the military in Dorset, while Kate was living in London.

The couple spent less and less time together. To Kate’s dismay, William started coming to London on his days off to go clubbing with friends and returning to Dorset without even dropping in to see her.

“It’s likely he was feeling a bit claustrophobic: after all, they’d been together since the age of 20 and Kate had always wanted rather more commitment than he was prepared to give.

“Nor were all his friends that keen on her: some thought she was a bit too sensible and serious, and that she disapproved of their wilder antics.

“Meanwhile, William was all too aware that he hadn’t had any other serious relationship before meeting Kate.”

So William ended their romance and Kate — though reportedly devastated — decided the only thing to do was party.

She went out with friends nearly every night, with the paparazzi capturing her every move. Even William couldn’t ignore the newspaper stories about his beautiful ex and within months, he was back in her arms.

“What brought him running back, according to someone who knows him well, was jealousy,” Junor writes.

“Although his girlfriend had been miserable, she hadn’t sat moping at home but had hit the town night after night, wearing a brave face and a sexy dress.

“William is quite old-fashioned in his outlook, and he realised he couldn’t bear the thought of her with another man. But it was another three-and-a-half years before he proposed.

Hmmm jealousy, me thinks that this isn’t the stable foundations on which to build a solid relationship! Quote: “I didn’t want to be with her, but when I saw her getting loads of attention I didn’t like it so I wanted her back!” Not the sentiment in which I’d like to get back with someone!

What are your thoughts? Should you ever get back with an ex? If so, in what circumstances is it ok?

GUEST POST*** Mardi Gras – I heart!

 

In the past week alone I have been called “a gay man trapped in a woman’s body” four times. In fact, my gay friends often say this to me, and my straight friends all agree. So it’s no wonder that I am extremely excited about the prospect of being part of Sydney’s annual Mardi Gras for the first time. I will even go so far as to admit that I am *secretly* glad that PGW was cancelled due to flooding (I booked my ticket before I knew of the major diary clash – I blame being new to Sydney).

 

What started in 1979 as a celebration following a gay rights protest has since become one of the must-see annual events this fabulous city has to offer. Over 70,000 people are expected to line Oxford Street and hit Hyde Park as flamboyant floats make their way through the crowds in celebration of all things gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender. And I am in no doubt that there will be fag hags a-plenty – me included.

 

One of the most exciting things about this year’s event is that the Aussie diva herself, Miss Kylie Minogue, will be part of the celebrations. 2012 is the year of K25 and what better way for her to mark the occasion than being part of Mardi Gras? Kylie will be performing at the afterparty and there is a very special Kylie-themed float expected to head the parade which I can’t wait to see in true fag hag style.

 

The term fag hag has long been unjustifiably tainted with the notion that we are nothing more than girls who can’t get a boyfriend so hang off the arm of her gbf until she eventually dies alone. True, that might be the case for some, but we are also funny, sharp, quick-witted and caring. We have excellent taste and never settle for second best. We are in fact gay men trapped inside women’s bodies.

 

The Urban Dictionary says that you are a true fag hag if:

-You are a straight girl who has a best friend who is gay and spends a lot of   time together -You   would rather go to a gay club than a straight club -Your fag gave you your own drag name -You know all the gay guys at the local gay   bar -Your fag takes you shopping for MAC makeup   and then puts it on you -Your hair and makeup are always flawless -You dress up in his drag gear on Saturday   night or dress in drag together -You even dance with all the fags on stage   when Britney Spears comes on -You learned to vouge from watching your fag -You fall in love with your fag (which is a   bad thing) -You try to convert your fag (this will only   ruin your relationship with him)   And   lastly… you find yourself not being able to live without him because you have   so much fun with him.

 

Ok, not all of the above is necessarily the case, but it’s a pretty good definition. Fag hags love Mardi Gras as much (sometimes more) than the gays because they truly feel a part of the celebration too. They feel that they are part of this community, they just with a secret other life where they play a straight person going out with a guy (who will never be better than their gbf, obvs).

The brilliant thing about Mardi Gras is that although it is a celebration of gay rights, anyone can join in and feel comfortable with who they are – gay or straight. The gays welcome everyone and if we were all a bit more accpeting, life could be like Mardi Gras every day!

 

http://www.mardigras.org.au/index.cfm