I remember when I used to watch a show in the UK called ‘My Face or Yours’, hosted by comedian genius Jimmy Carr. It was a show where couples would go on together to be pitted against each other to find out who is in fact the hottest. They would not only rate themselves against other people, but also each other. At the end if they guessed correctly as to who is the ‘hottest’ they won a car or something – it was a long time since I watched it so the finer details escape me! Here’s an overview of the format from Wikipedia anyway so that you get the drift.
Two contestants, usually a couple, had to choose who they think are the most attractive of two random individuals when their pictures appeared (the people in these pictures usually also are in the audience). If their choice was consistent with that of the audience, they win money.
The contestants then have to choose who is the most attractive out of two celebrities, again winning cash if their opinion matched that of the audience.
A special guest (of which there are four usually consisting of a stranger, friends, workmates and sometimes a celebrity) joins the contestants and they have to decide who is more attractive between the special guest and one of the contestants. If their choice was consistent with that of the audience, they win money.
Finally, the two contestants had to decide who was the most attractive out of each other, winning if they guessed the same as the audience.
Not at all a superficial show…
The sad thing is that me and my ex actually used to bicker over who would win the ‘poll’. It used to really irritate me that he would never say me. He was so cock-sure that he couldn’t even be as gent and say of course they’d chose you lovely (even if he was just humouring me) he has to make his point and stick to his guns.
All this reminiscing lark got me to thinking about my recent relationships – a major part of my attraction to a guy is their looks (amongst other things: humour, intelligence… height etc). When I actually got to thinking, my check list of the ideal man is not only ludicrous – I doubt this person even exists.
A recent article on Cosmopolitan.com.au written by Jane Hollier discussed the effects that your looks can have on relationships. The opening sentence caught my eye:
“Things we worry about on the first date: food stuck in our teeth, what to wear, who pays the bill, and looking too…pretty?”
It isn’t something I have ever been concerned about I have to add, however the article goes on the state:
“According to a study in the UK, if you’re more attractive than your man, your relationship is destined to fail. Researchers studied over 100 couples that had been dating each other for different lengths of time, and concluded that if the man was more attractive, the relationship was safe. However, if the woman was easier on the eyes, one partner was more likely to prematurely evacuate from the relationship.
“Researcher Dr. Rob Burriss says there are a few reasons why this could be: attractive women are more confident and won’t cling onto the relationship; attractive women think they can pick and choose; attractive women prefer short-term relationships because it’s easier for them to move on, and it could end due to jealous behaviour from the less attractive partner.
“But wait, there’s more. According to Dr. Burris, if the female is the less attractive partner, they’re more likely to enjoy a long-term relationship because they “may have to make do with what they have.” “
Wow! So it got me to thinking, is this the same if the guy is hotter?
I have not dated guy, or stopped dating perfectly lovely guys in the past because they’ve not go t the right colour hair, they don’t have any drive or and they’re not tall enough (my 6’ 2” bench mark was always hard to top!) amongst other ridiculous reasons.
You know the kind of things I mean, have you seen the Friends episode where Chandler admits that even the smallest of things can turn him off a woman – ‘mascara gloop’ being a prime example (oh and who could forget his worry about his current girlfriend finding out he had a third nipple and then him freaking out over her wooden leg!).
Despite looking for the ‘perfect guy’ and all the desirable traits, here I am still single and not meeting a genuine nice guy.
I guess it’s what they call growing up, I have had the dawning realisation (I always get there in the end) that yes – he might be 6’3”, yes he might be tall dark and handsome, he might make me giggle – but why do I constantly get stood up, he not call when he says he will or find him going off the radar for weeks on end. (Not mentioning any names here, ahem!). Maybe, just maybe because he can?
I figure, my check list is quite similar to a lot of women’s check lists out there. (Oh how against the norm am I? Tall, dark and handsome – never heard of anyone having that as their type before) I started seriously thinking: how about I start looking for someone that yes, I’m attracted to, yes makes me laugh, yes is driven but also – perhaps most importantly treats me right and is a gentleman. It’s not about compromising here; it’s about looking at the bigger picture.
Would I rather be with an Adonis that other girls swoon over when they clock him, thinking inside “he picked me, yyiipppppeee” closely followed by an insecure after thought “back off bitches he’s mine!” or would I rather be with a lovely cute guy that everyone who meets him loves and treats me right?
Let me pose that question to you… answers on a postcard please!