Monthly Archives: July 2014

Guest Post** My friends think you’re wonderful…

It’s been a while and I have a backlog of dating disaster tales what I feel are only too appropriate to share… I’m going to start with the story of a guy I met on Match.com. Brace yourselves, buckle up and get ready to be thankful you’re not me right now…

 

I had joined up Match.com on a trial basis to see what the offerings were out there. It was a time before tinder, a time when Match.com was one of the few forms of dating that held a much higher probability ratio of not receiving dick pictures (always a bonus).

 

I had matched with a cute older guy, a bit older than I normally go for but figured YOLO and he was 36, not 56! Ha!

 

After we got chatting he revealed that he was a TV presenter for a world famous football clubs TV channel, interesting. So I did the thing any self respecting girl would do, I Google searched the fuck out of him – true to form, Google didn’t let me down. As said man, let’s call him Mikey (name changed obvs) was kinda in the public eye, I was able to see the public’s feedback and perceptions of him… let’s just say it wasn’t pretty.

 

I figured people were just jealous of his privileged job, so decided that I would try to figure out how much of a *prick* he was for myself… #ahem

 

After chatting on the site for a couple of days, he asked me for my number, a good sign in my eyes, so I dutifully obliged. To my surprise he text me almost immediately and asked if I’d like to go out. I was definitely interested in getting to know him better and to meet him in the flesh so I agreed… three days went by and nothing/ nada/ sweet FA – honestly why do men bother to ask you out if all they want is an ego boost. I deleted his number of figured another one bites the dust and that it was over before it began anyway – his lose etc

 

To my complete surprise, I got a text from him 5 days later apologising for being MIA, he explained that he’d met up with his recent ex and that they’d realised that there was still feelings there.

oprah-what-gif-oh-really

FML – He went on to explain that he thought I was a really nice girl and didn’t want to string me along. Me being the lovely girl that I am told him to go Fuck himself… Just jokes I told him I understood and that if they didn’t give it a try they’d never know.

 

Another week went by ad I didn’t give our lad Mikey another thought. Well that was until I got another text from him that went along the lines of: “Hey, it’s Mike, I understand if you want to delete my number but despite my better judgement and advise from my friends I did give it a go with my ex and perhaps not surprisingly it didn’t work out. I really thought we got on and wondered if we could possibly pick up where we left off…” – Interesting, I decided I could either actually tell him to frock off or explore this scenario further to see what would come of it… Knowing me as you do… you can probably guess that I opted for the latter.

 

We arranged to meet up the next night, I have to be honest, I was actually quite excited.

 

We went to the local pub, I got there first so went to the bar and asked him what he wanted to drink, he text back stating a beer and said he was 2 mins away. I ordered the drink and got a tap on my shoulder, I turned around to be greeted by Mikey – he definitely was good looking, but looked a lot older in the flesh – he was also shorter than I imagined. We grabbed our drinks and sat down.

 

He seemed uncomfortable but I put it down to nerves – then he suddenly realised that he had forgotten his wallet. Luckily as he lived round the corner we said we’d go and pick it up on the way to the next pub. As we were talking he exclaimed that he had completely forgotten that he was meant to be taking part in the local pub’s quiz that night with his team. Quite surprisingly he asked me if I wanted to join him – for a first date I thought it was a bit strange.

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However I figured that it was a good sign that he wanted me to meet his friends so I said yes – plus I love a good pub quiz so figured if nothing else it would be a laugh.

 

So off we went to the pub and I was greeted by his mates and quiz team, they were all really lovely and made me feel very welcome – which is more than what can be said for my date for the evening. He spent 30 minutes not looking up from his phone or taking part in the conversation, to say I was put out is putting it mildly.

 

After what seemed like forever, Mikey called me over and advised that he had been texting his friend and that she’d just found out she was pregnant and that the guy didn’t want to know and that he had to leave immediately (if not sooner). I was of course totally understanding, if not a little bit put out, especially when he turned round to all of his mates and said quiz team and announced that he would be leaving and if it would be ok if they all “looked after me” CRINGE!

my-reaction-when-I-get-into-an-argument-with-women-homer-simpson-hide-in-bush-disappears

At this point I thought fuck it! I went to the bar, ordered a bottle of wine and decided that I was going to have a great night.

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We proceeded to win the prize for the best quiz name and also won the quiz – who knew! Ha! I got along famously with Mikey’s mates and they all proclaimed that even if we didn’t work out, they’d love to see me again – just lovely.

 

They dropped me off home and I concluded I’d had a great night and was hopeful that Mikey would be in touch to (at the very least) apologise. True to form I woke up the next day to receive a text from Mikey – I opened it up and read with jaw on the floor – I can dress it up, add a funny anecdote or put my own spin on it… however for now… I think its best you just read it for yourself…

find-out-my-ex-is-posting-about-you-on-facebook-dean-winchester-supernatural

Hey, I want to apologise for leaving you last night, thankfully my friend is ok so that’s a relief. So I wanted to drop you a note to say that it was really nice to meet you, however whilst I don’t see anything romantic happening between us, my friends all loved you and would love you to become a permanent addition to the quiz team… and I agree – what do you think?!”

 

Yup! #FML

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Dating 101** Eight texts that cover off Sydney dating experiences

A typical Mars Vs Venus scenario that reigns true when dating a Sydney-sider (based on means tested situations with Sydney based guys and gals)

 

Dual thought process after a first date that wasn’t a complete disaster:

 

Girl:

I really like him, he was such a gentleman, we really had the spark

dbltwrk

Guy:

 

Damn I held the door open for her and still didn’t get laid

flynn

 

Dual thought process the day after:

 

Girl:

I definitely think I’ll hear from him, he said that “when we hang out again” and he was talking about his family and asking loads of questions

girl

Guy:

 

Hmmm do I want pizza or Mexican for dinner today?!

MmnIjQa

After neither has got a text after 3 days:

Girl:

 

What if he got his phone stolen? What if he got on with me SO well that he’s freaked out and backed off? What if his memory got erased off his phone and now he has no way of contacting me?

bmh

Guy:

 

Huh, maybe I’ll drop her a text

homer

After receiving first text after first date:

 

Girl:

I knew we had chemistry, I’m so excited for him to take me out again. He’s so not like the other guys I’ve been with!

fun

Guy:

 

Boom she text back, the 3 day rule always works! Now maybe I’ll get laid on date 2!

wic

Text to friends as they’re on their way to date two

 

Girl:

 

I’m so excited, I wore a nice skirt to show off my legs and covered up my cleavage as I don’t want to give too much away, I’m totally wearing natural make-up that took me 3 hours to do! Wish me luck!

pary

Guy:

 

Fingers crossed she’s showing off her tits, they’re awesome!

ybrws

During date:

 

Girl:

 

He’s being so nice to me, I might even stay over

dance-splits

Guy:

 

She’s pretty fit, hopefully she’ll want to put out

sandy

The next morning:

 

Girl:

On my god, he is the best person ever! I’m totally going to be with him. There were fireworks, chemistry it’s all so romantic!

happy

Guy:

 

Boom!

bml

A week later:

 

Girl:

 

Can’t believe he’s not text or called, if he’s not into me the least he can do is just tell me rather than go AWOL… I’m a big girl. Urrghhh I hate men!

tupac

Guy:

 

To another girl: “So when are you going to let me take you out babe?”

Boring

What my friends have to say on the matter…

prbc

Feature 101** Australia, the doctor will see you now

Scrubs and stethoscopes are getting Aussie hearts racing, with doctors and nurses topping the charts of Australia’s favourite uniform wearing professionals, according to a new survey* commissioned by Uniformdating.com.

 

A quarter of Aussies said males in their medical garb were their favourite. The medical theme continues, with a third of respondents preferring their females in a nurse’s uniform, proving that Aussies hold their health professionals in high regard.

 

This research is released as Uniformdating.com, a bespoke online dating service, launches in Australia today to connect men and women in uniform with the people who appreciate them.

 

Brand Manager for Uniformdating.com, Amy Coles, said relationships with uniformed professionals sometimes struggled due to long hours, but Aussies would be hard pressed to find a more trustworthy and compassionate partner.

 

“Service men and women have a common problem, with almost a quarter telling us they’ve seen a relationship end because of long working hours.

 

“Uniformdating.com is here to help find strong people – both uniformed and not – who are special enough to enter a relationship with an Aussie hero,” said Ms Coles.

 

“Our survey found that a third of Aussies believe that service men and women look unapproachably tough in their uniforms, but this couldn’t be further from the truth!

 

“We asked Australian uniform wearers about their personality traits and they describe themselves as trustworthy and loyal, which is what everyone wants in a partner!”

Uniformdating.com’s survey also found that more than half of Aussies think online dating is a successful way to meet potential partners, with almost two thirds interested in a dating site that meets their individual needs.

 

The most desirable Aussies in uniform are:

 

 

Male:

  1. Doctor
  2. Firefighter
  3. Paramedic
  4. Police Officer
  5. Pilot
  6. Nurse
  7. Lifeguard
  8. Army Officer
  9. Navy Officer
  10. Airforce Officer

 

Female:

  1. Nurse
  2. Doctor
  3. Air Steward
  4. Police Officer
  5. Pilot
  6. Lifeguard
  7. Airforce Officer
  8. Army Officer
  9. Firefighter
  10. Navy Officer

 

 


Other interesting survey results include:

  • No time for love: Almost a quarter (22 per cent) of uniformed Aussies have seen a relationship end because of long work hours

 

  • In it for life: Australia’s men and women in uniform are looking for life partners  over a fleeting fling, with nine out of 10 (91 per cent) saying they are in it for the long haul – making them the ideal date for those seeking something serious

 

·         A uniform love: Australia is a nation of uniform lovers – 82 per cent of Aussies would consider entering into a relationship with a man or woman in uniform

Dating 101** We’re back!

Ok so it’s been a while since I’ve blogged on here, I figured I’ve stored up some pretty impressive gems over the past few months, along with a nice little stash of guest entries to add to the mix.

 

Having lived in Sydney for four and half years, I was starting to think that Sydney dating was a whole different kettle of fish to the rest of the world… Well, let me tell you that after a year away from Sydney throughout 2013, it isn’t! Unless I have a target on my head for moronic idiots, or people with a worrying disposition in terms of general life – it ain’t too great on t’other side of the pond either!

 

In a nutshell we have the following to update you on:

 

  • The egotistical TV presenter who left me alone at his friend’s quiz night on our first date…

 

  • The OCD letter counting (yes you read correctly) former drug addict (yup and again) who chose to reveal this little ‘trait’ on our sixth and final date…

 

  • The crazy guy of Match.com who started spouting Satanic ramblings about me being judged in my next life…

 

  • The guy who I thought seemed nice, but turned out to be renowned as the local coke head and general tool (news to me)…

 

Considering I only went on dates with six men last year… the stats aren’t looking great!

 

Well Dating 101 Sydney will be coming back with more content: recommended dating venues, first date ideas in Sydney, features on dating/ single life and much, much more!

 

I’m going to be taking a back seat when it comes to the dating blogs – think I’ve put you all through enough of that to last you a lifetime (I’ll part with the four posts I’ve alluded to above!)

 

I will however be hosting guest dating blogs and posts – so if you want to contribute, e-mail me dating101sydney@hotmail.com

 

I look forward to hearing all your feedback and sharing stories with you.