I have many friends that talk incessantly about the wrong ‘type’ of guy, more often that not it’s usually the type of guy that they go far and can’t stop no matter how hard they try.
I used to fall in this said category, I was a fan of the lad about town, the guy that catches the girls eyes and the guy that might as well have ‘trouble’ tattooed on his forehead! No matter how hard I tried to break this cycle, as soon as I saw the cheeky glint in their eye, I knew I was putty in their hands.
Now, I’ve broken this cycle after four years of going round and around (and then around again for good measure) in circles, playing the mating game and failing miserably (I was never ever any good at the rules anyway!). Now I am in a relationship with a guy that is none of the above (however I don’t doubt he used to be one of these types, he must’ve just been ready for a relationship).
Now I have friends that complain that they haven’t met ‘the one’ or haven’t got a boyfriend even though they’re ‘oh so ready’. However when they do meet guys that are lovely, good looking, funny and most of all are into them, you’d think they’d be ecstatic right?! Well… no! My girlfriend’s think the guys are boring, or ‘too’ keen so decide to not pursue. Now this really gets my goat, and here’s why:
Before I begin I must outline and stress that I don’t think that anyone should ever compromise when it comes to a relationship or matters of the heart, I do however believe that some people’s ‘ideals’ have more to them than meets the eye and are in fact a contradiction!
How many of your friends have been known to have the ‘type’ that consists of the jack the lad, good looking, popular-player type that oozes confidence and has a way with the ladies? Then they complain that they never get asked out on dates and that guy’s only want them for one thing… However on the off chance that they do get asked out on a date, more often than not, it’s with someone who’s lovely, good looking, perhaps not as cock sure albeit, but your GF isn’t interested as they’re too soft/ keen/ wet/ all of the above.
What gets me that if the good looking player type took them out and fell for them hard, they’d probably get bored too. The case of the wanting of what one cannot have comes to mind.
The fact is that in Sydney, it is a completely different ball game, guys could have a fit bird every night of the week if they wanted – and you know what, they probably wouldn’t have to try too hard. If a guy doesn’t want to be in a relationship, no matter how hot, friendly, driven, funny or sexy you are, you might struggle to change their mind.
You have to open yourself up to the fact that your usual type, may not be the right type for you and that’s why you’re still single. Sure there are the stories of the girls that met their future husband in a night club on a wild night out and fell into bed with one another and never looked back… I would argue the fact however that they are more of the case of the exception rather than the rule.
The nightclubs of Sydney are a whole new ball game and cat and mouse games are taking place all over the city. Girls are out and about hunting in packs for the guys that they long for and craving the attention they desire. Whilst on the other side, the guys only have to show up and not be offensive looking and they can bet their bottom dollar that they’ll score that night, most likely without even trying.
Now I don’t profess to be a dating expert, nor do I shy away from the mistakes and experiences I’ve had in the past, after all they make us who we are today right?! What I do have the benefit of though is hindsight and a shed loads of experience to boot.
I’ve come to the conclusion, it’s not about taming the bad boy, donning a chastity belt in order to ensure that the guy isn’t just with you for s3x or lowering your standards in order to be in a relationship. It’s about not resting on your laurels and acting as you would in your home town or country or just ‘before Sydney’. If you don’t like to sleep with people on the first date, don’t here, if you expect to be taken out before you’ll kiss a guy, do the same here… you get my drift?
If you’re finding yourself stuck in a dating rut and the guys you go for are all the same, how about when a relationship breaks down and doesn’t work out for any reason, make a note to yourself about qualities in the guy/ relationship you didn’t like, and try to ensure the next person doesn’t have these traits. By process of elimination, you should slowly get there!