Tag Archives: men

Is there ever a wrong type?

I have many friends that talk incessantly about the wrong ‘type’ of guy, more often that not it’s usually the type of guy that they go far and can’t stop no matter how hard they try.

I used to fall in this said category, I was a fan of the lad about town, the guy that catches the girls eyes and the guy that might as well have ‘trouble’ tattooed on his forehead! No matter how hard I tried to break this cycle, as soon as I saw the cheeky glint in their eye, I knew I was putty in their hands.

Now, I’ve broken this cycle after four years of going round and around (and then around again for good measure) in circles, playing the mating game and failing miserably (I was never ever any good at the rules anyway!). Now I am in a relationship with a guy that is none of the above (however I don’t doubt he used to be one of these types, he must’ve just been ready for a relationship).

Now I have friends that complain that they haven’t met ‘the one’ or haven’t got a boyfriend even though they’re ‘oh so ready’. However when they do meet guys that are lovely, good looking, funny and most of all are into them, you’d think they’d be ecstatic right?! Well… no! My girlfriend’s think the guys are boring, or ‘too’ keen so decide to not pursue. Now this really gets my goat, and here’s why:

Before I begin I must outline and stress that I don’t think that anyone should ever compromise when it comes to a relationship or matters of the heart, I do however believe that some people’s ‘ideals’ have more to them than meets the eye and are in fact a contradiction!

How many of your friends have been known to have the ‘type’ that consists of the jack the lad, good looking, popular-player type that oozes confidence and has a way with the ladies? Then they complain that they never get asked out on dates and that guy’s only want them for one thing… However on the off chance that they do get asked out on a date, more often than not, it’s with someone who’s lovely, good looking, perhaps not as cock sure albeit, but your GF isn’t interested as they’re too soft/ keen/ wet/ all of the above.

What gets me that if the good looking player type took them out and fell for them hard, they’d probably get bored too. The case of the wanting of what one cannot have comes to mind.

The fact is that in Sydney, it is a completely different ball game, guys could have a fit bird every night of the week if they wanted – and you know what, they probably wouldn’t have to try too hard. If a guy doesn’t want to be in a relationship, no matter how hot, friendly, driven, funny or sexy you are, you might struggle to change their mind.

You have to open yourself up to the fact that your usual type, may not be the right type for you and that’s why you’re still single. Sure there are the stories of the girls that met their future husband in a night club on a wild night out and fell into bed with one another and never looked back… I would argue the fact however that they are more of the case of the exception rather than the rule.

The nightclubs of Sydney are a whole new ball game and cat and mouse games are taking place all over the city. Girls are out and about hunting in packs for the guys that they long for and craving the attention they desire. Whilst on the other side, the guys only have to show up and not be offensive looking and they can bet their bottom dollar that they’ll score that night, most likely without even trying.

Now I don’t profess to be a dating expert, nor do I shy away from the mistakes and experiences I’ve had in the past, after all they make us who we are today right?! What I do have the benefit of though is hindsight and a shed loads of experience to boot.

I’ve come to the conclusion, it’s not about taming the bad boy, donning a chastity belt in order to ensure that the guy isn’t just with you for s3x or lowering your standards in order to be in a relationship. It’s about not resting on your laurels and acting as you would in your home town or country or just ‘before Sydney’. If you don’t like to sleep with people on the first date, don’t here, if you expect to be taken out before you’ll kiss a guy, do the same here… you get my drift?

If you’re finding yourself stuck in a dating rut and the guys you go for are all the same, how about when a relationship breaks down and doesn’t work out for any reason, make a note to yourself about qualities in the guy/ relationship you didn’t like, and try to ensure the next person doesn’t have these traits. By process of elimination, you should slowly get there!

COMPETITION** WIN ONE OF TEN BARS OF CADBURY DAIRY MILK MOUSSE BARS

It’s no lie that women LOVE chocolate, and I don’t mean love in a lovely dovey puke fest way, or in the seven-year itch way. I simply mean in the til death do us part way, and in sickness and in health – you know feed a cold etc

It comforts us when we’re down, doesn’t answer back and never lets us down! So this is why my friends I’ve teamed up with the guys at Liquid Ideas to provide ten of my lucky blog readers with a bar of the new Cadbury Dairy Milk Mousse bars – They’re delish!!

Cadbury, Australia’s most loved chocolate brand* has introduced a new chocolate indulgence with Cadbury Dairy Milk Mousse and like your comfiest track pants, scented candles and favourite hydrating mud mask, you may want to keep it out of sight to enjoy in those rare moments you have all to yourself…

 Utilising European chocolate making techniques, Cadbury Dairy Milk Mousse features unique triangular-shaped pieces of smooth and creamy mousse encased in Cadbury Dairy Milk milk chocolate. Available in chocolate, hazelnut and caramel, Cadbury Mousse is perfectly designed to savour slowly – the ideal indulgence for those precious “me-time” moments.

Which to choose?! Decisions, decisions

We’ve all got those little things best kept hidden away from our loved ones – the obsession with The Notebook, celebrity crushes circa 1990 and any mementos of ex-boyfriends (which is becoming increasingly hard with pesky facebook! You know!). Then there are the things that are just too special to share, like your “good” moisturiser – although you suspect he sneaks some when you aren’t looking…

 Now, Cadbury Dairy Milk Mousse joins the list of things that you probably want to keep all to yourself. Let’s face it, he just won’t appreciate that delicious, rich mousse the way you do.

 Ten things you might want hidden…

  1.  Your Cadbury Mousse block – seriously, do you really want to share?
  2. Expensive shampoo – he just doesn’t need, deserve or understand it. Give him soap.
  3. Box sets of Gossip Girl – he hates it, you know it and fear he thinks less of you if he knows you love it…he does. So hide it.
  4. Photos of ex-boyfriends. No explanation needed.
  5. Mix-tapes made for you by ex-boyfriends (see point four above).
  6. Old celebrity crushes – he doesn’t need to know you used to be into Take That – it’s not cool. It’s even less cool to know that deep down you STILL love them … best kept hidden.
  7. Your Twilight books and DVDs. You’re not a vampire and not a teenage girl – it’s weird to him.
  8. Mud masks. If he sees you in that it might be indelible in his memory forever…
  9. Scented candles – best enjoyed on a quiet night in with the girls.
  10. Your expensive night cream – he won’t use it sparingly the way you do so get him the cheap stuff from the supermarket. 

Now the only dilemma is where to hide your Mousse…

 Spoil yourself with Cadbury Dairy Milk Mousse, the all-new indulgent chocolate block that’s simply too good to share – now available from Coles, Woolworths, SUPA IGA, Big W, Target, Kmart and other select retail outlets RRP $4.20


*Source: Nielsen Scantrack, 2010; Millward Brown

To be in with a chance of winning, simply tell me in 25 words or less, if you could create any flavour , what it would be and why?

Thanks!!! Excited much!!

 

**Guest post – Where is your wallet?

This is one topic that people normally have a strong opinion on and either fall into one category or the other. On a first date should the man pay or should the man and woman do a 50/50 split?.

I personally think that the man should pay for the first date if they have said to you “I would like to take you out for dinner”. I may just be a total brat, but there is also a lot of other things that show through from a guy paying for a woman. Firstly, it makes you subconsciously feel that the man can support you in a financial capacity, which is nice. It also shows that they are generous in nature and most importantly you know that they are trying to impress you and hence, like you!

Last week I was asked out on a date and I think the ‘asking out’ phrase went something like “we should go out for some drinks on Thursday”. Maybe I should have seen the “we” as a telltale sign that the bill would be joint share.

It started off as him buying the first round, please note, that I didn’t even do the pretend wallet pull out at this stage to offer money for the drinks, which I normally would do. Then after he finished his drink he just sat there and waited for me to finish my drink. On the completion of my drink he still sat there and on that note I jumped up and asked “what would you like to drink”. Normally at this line I would be ready for the ‘gentleman’ to jump up in protest and say “no, I will get it”. In this situation though no movements… still as a statue. In fact, I think a fire bursting throughout the bar at this stage could not have moved this guy out of his seat.

So after this round was bought, that’s how it went on the whole night- round for round. I didn’t complain and even though it was different to what I was used to I didn’t give it to much thought to the point of ruling out seeing the guy again.

Then the next night he came and meet me at a cute small bar on York street Sydney called ‘Stitch’–  I would recommend checking this out and in particular the ‘high and dry’ cocktail! Yum… Anyway, he arrived and I was sitting with two girlfriends having a bottle of wine and he walked over to us with a drink for himself in hand. After he had finished that drink he got up and asked me if I wanted a drink and before I could respond had already walked away. My girlfriends actually called out to him and said “get us a bottle of wine”. Surely enough he strolled back to the table with one beer- no bottle of wine in hand. I remember the moment very clearly and I snapped back into my stubborn thinking that men should always pay for women. It was embarrassing that he did not get a drink for neither myself or my friends and it was apparent then and there that he would never.

When my friends left I brought the subject up with him (because at this stage to me he was just looking like a selfish tightarse- two qualities I’m not all that keen on in a partner). He started giving me the whole “equality” speech and it was very apparent to me at that stage that we were not on the same wave length (not that I don’t believe in equal rights- just not on dates- especially the initial ones ;)).

I discussed the topic with my friends and the consensus was that men should always pay on the first date. In fact my friend said to me that she has been out on a lot of first dates where she didn’t even bring her wallet. Also, to avoid the whole awkward bill ‘wrestle’ at the end of dinner the woman should excuse herself to go the bathroom and then the man should politely pay- another dating rule I have come up with in my time.

There is an exception though when the guy is short on cash, but even then it’s the effort they display- take a girl for a walk and get her a soft serve from McDonalds. In fact, I remember a really nice date a while back that I went on where I watched the sunset go down over Bondi with a 6 pack of Coronas and Sakata’s crackers with somePhiladelphiacheese. Planned and inexpensive, yet didn’t fail to disappoint and it ticked my boxes.

So let the lesson be learnt that if there is not a distinctive “I” and “you” in the asking out phrase and there is a “we” then you better wait till pay day to be on the safe side.

Casual to commitment: Is it possible?

 I  have been doing quite a bit of research of late into the whole dating game to ensure that I keep the content fresh and relevant – no one wants to read a dull and boring blog do they?

 I’ve been busy in the world of new job mode since last Monday. Great team and lovely people, I’m really excited to get stuck in! As such however my dating life has most definitely taken a hit with wrapping up one job and wanting to make a great impression in the new job.

 Quite surprisingly for me the man in my life for the past two weeks has been the gym (might I just add I’m not bragging here, it is the first time I have set foot in a gym since January – and that was only for week. Before that I can’t even recall!).

 Anyway, the ones that you are interested in, you know the men in my life that I have been updating you about, are well, pretty much, dead in the water. Here’s a quick synopsis for you viewing pleasure! (I notice how a lot of my posts are poking fun at my own misfortune – This, my friends I fear will be case for quite sometime as I try my best to figure out what goes on the other sex’s minds and challenge and tackle the Sydney dating scene head on!). For those of you that are single and live inSydney– you know what I’m talking about…

 Where were we? Oh yeah, update!

 Ten year crush – I went on a boat party with all of my lovely friends, he was also there with his friends. I had a merry time cruising around the harbour and drinking wine. I headed down to the bathroom to sort out my rain drenched hair after a sudden downpour, I asked a girl if I could borrow her comb (as you do). The girl asked me where I was from, I told her. She asked my name and asked if I knew Dean (ten-year-crush) quite surprised I said yes, I was seeing him over Xmas. Only her face changed, she was currently seeing him!! Abort the mission, abort the mission!

 Dean had neglected to tell her that I and he had hooked up, so every time we’d met up, as friends I might add, she thought that we’d been hooking up. Cue tears and cocktails at sunset! Dean was not happy with me, although as far as I’m concerned I did nothing wrong, other than tell the truth! That’s one down! Next:

 Paul (half Maltese, half English) – I text him after receiving missed calls at 4am on a Saturday morning saying that I wasn’t looking to be that with him and if that’s what he’s looking for I’m not the right person! I got a reply saying: “I’m sorry who this is, I lost my phone!” Likely story, how many girls has he got on the go to not know who that would be from! I told him it was me and he called immediately saying that a rendezvous was long over due! Despite my better judgement we locked in a date, I was excited… Until low and behold he bailed at the eleventh hour – despite him apologising profusely and saying he would make it up to me, I have not heard anything since – that was two weeks ago.

They’re dropping like flies, honestly! With regards to The Kiwi Poet, I see him out and about literally EVERYWHERE I go, a snapshot of the places we’ve both been in the past two weeks, completely coincidently:

 Randwick Races

The Sheaf

Beach Road Hotel

The Paddington Inn

 There has just been nice chit-chat since that text, think I can safely say that ship has sailed…

 So all this has got me to thinking, can you start-up a relationship with a causal hook up? If guys see you as that in their eyes, will they ever see you as girlfriend material? Is it best to hold back with the ones that you feel something for to see if it could develop into something else?

 I’ve been single for nearly four years now and I am non-the wiser! With flicks out at the moment like ‘Love and Other Drugs’, ‘No Strings Attached’ and ‘Friends with Benefits’ does it give false hope to single ladies all over the world as they dream that their ‘hook-up’ guy will realise that he’s got something good and doesn’t want to let it go. This I fear doesn’t happen too often as why would they want to stop having their cake and eating it too??

 Whilst I was doing my research I came across the following article on Cosmopolitan.com.au – think it raises a very valid point!

 Convinced your one-night-stand will disintegrate the morning after? Think again…


You may roll your eyes at the plot of the new romcom No Strings Attached where Ashton Kutcher and Natalie Portman play friends with benefits who start to fall in love. Because, really, how often does that work out? Well, according to a surprising new study of 321 couples, more often than you’d think. Researchers found that 17 per cent of couples now begin as a hook-up. Study author Anthony Paik also explains that these couples reported being just as happy as those who waited longer to get frisky.

Easy does it
Part of the reason hook-ups are more likely to turn into relationships is because the stigma has faded. “It’s become acceptable for women as well as men to have casual sex,” says couples’ therapist Pepper Schwartz, author of Finding Your Perfect Match. With no stigma, those guilt hangovers are fewer and further between. Plus, guys don’t instantly dismiss you as girlfriend material after a hook up (and vice versa). Going into a romantic encounter with zero expectations also helps keep you relaxed, says psychologist Debbie Magids, co-author of All the Good Ones Aren’t Taken. “When you are on a date, you’re more self-conscious about what you say and do,” she explains. “Whereas when you’re hooking up, you don’t care as much about how you come across, so you tend to be yourself.” As a result, your booty call has a chance to see the real you.

The tough part
Unfortunately, maintaining zero expectations gets harder the more often you sleep together, says Schwartz. And since 83 per cent of couples don’t start things off with a bang, the odds are pretty high your late-night rendezvous won’t segue into happily-ever-after. However, if you’re feeling it, and you think he might too, look for clues he wants more, like calling you more than once a week or asking you to brunch the morning after. To turn up the stakes, Schwartz suggests inviting your hook-up to do couple-y things, like go to a concert with you. Then see if he reciprocates with similar invitations. At some point Magid says you need to have a conversation to make sure you are on the same page. “A hook-up can definitely lead to a long-term relationship,” she says, “But you have to be willing to take a risk to clarify where you’re headed first.”

(Source: By Korin Miller http://www.cosmopolitan.com.au/Can_you_go_from_hookup_to_happily_ever_after.htm)

New country, new horizons, new men (or so we thought!)

I’ve been here in Sydney now for almost 20 months and still can’t quite believe how much, “it’s such a small word!” resonates here!

There have been many occasions where I’ve bumped into previous dates, weeks months or even a year later. Once particular story referencing one of my dearest  friends only further reinforces this!

My lovely gal pal, also from the UK, let’s call her ‘Goooorrrgeous Girl (GG)’, is quite a hit with the fellas, beautiful, banter all over the place and a wonderful friend, she’s a gem! As she can generally have her pick of the bunch it may surprise you to hear that she’s quite the sucker for the ‘funny guy’.

One particular chap caught GG’s attention one night last winter, we’ll call him ‘Club’. He impressed GG with his wit, charm and all round ‘nice-guy’ status. They proceeded to go on a few dates, really got along and had a few cheeky kisses.

All was going well, even contact throughout the work day via e-mail, a positive sign… The e-mail flirting was taken to a whole new level a few weeks into their ‘fling’: In a bid to play matchmaker Club sent GG pictures of his ‘hot mates’ to see if any of her equally ‘hot mates’ might be interested… So the e-mail was forwarded round to GG’s circle of friends, one guy in particular caught the eye of our stunning little blonde Irish lassie, let’s call her ‘Sexy Frecks’.

The attraction to his picture wasn’t due to his raw good looks emanating from her Outlook account, he looked very familiar, in fact very, very familiar.

Cue gasps from Sexy Frecks and roaring laughter from her desk, she immediately responded to all, “ OMG I’ve kissed that guy!!” We all found this hysterical, what are the chances? Especially as we’d only been in Sydney six months, had we worked our way through all the single men in Sydney already? GG in particular found it most amusing and just had to tell Club about the ‘situation’.

Club also found this very funny, in fact he forwarded GG’s response to his friend CCing GG in. We had his full name – result! That night a Facebook stalking session ensued, a few glasses of wine and all the girlies – all of whom agreed that this was a v funny situation.

That was until it got cranked up by about 100%… whilst browsing through the pictures of Sexy Frecks’ previous conquest we came across images that contained the lovely Sexy Frecks, from that very same night six months previous on a boozy night out in manly… Only it wasn’t just Sexy Frecks in the picture, GG was also in there too… with Club… Yes that’s right my little blog chums, GG had also in fact pulled Club before, six months previous on that boozy night in Manly, but both of them had completely forgot ever meeting each other! Too funny!

We really were rolling around in a state of hysterical giggles!

As Club is such a lovely guy, he too saw the funny side, suffice to say after a few more dates the relationship eventually fizzled out, but they still remain friends!

Small world doesn’t even begin to justify that turn of events… Stay tuned for more stories about the many frogs we kiss in the quest to find our prince.

Dating across the pond

And so I ventured into Australia in January 2010 from rainy Manchester, a whole new dating concept.. Sydney the ever so transient city that sparkles when the sun shines. New opportunities, new friends, new job prospects… also I hasten to add a whole new supply of men to tap in to (ahem).

Stay tuned as I tell you all about my old dating stories, new dating experiences and Sydney dating trends, venues and men-types to watch out for! Anyone ever told you how Sydney is a small world…