Category Archives: Guest blogs

Guest Post** My friends think you’re wonderful…

It’s been a while and I have a backlog of dating disaster tales what I feel are only too appropriate to share… I’m going to start with the story of a guy I met on Match.com. Brace yourselves, buckle up and get ready to be thankful you’re not me right now…

 

I had joined up Match.com on a trial basis to see what the offerings were out there. It was a time before tinder, a time when Match.com was one of the few forms of dating that held a much higher probability ratio of not receiving dick pictures (always a bonus).

 

I had matched with a cute older guy, a bit older than I normally go for but figured YOLO and he was 36, not 56! Ha!

 

After we got chatting he revealed that he was a TV presenter for a world famous football clubs TV channel, interesting. So I did the thing any self respecting girl would do, I Google searched the fuck out of him – true to form, Google didn’t let me down. As said man, let’s call him Mikey (name changed obvs) was kinda in the public eye, I was able to see the public’s feedback and perceptions of him… let’s just say it wasn’t pretty.

 

I figured people were just jealous of his privileged job, so decided that I would try to figure out how much of a *prick* he was for myself… #ahem

 

After chatting on the site for a couple of days, he asked me for my number, a good sign in my eyes, so I dutifully obliged. To my surprise he text me almost immediately and asked if I’d like to go out. I was definitely interested in getting to know him better and to meet him in the flesh so I agreed… three days went by and nothing/ nada/ sweet FA – honestly why do men bother to ask you out if all they want is an ego boost. I deleted his number of figured another one bites the dust and that it was over before it began anyway – his lose etc

 

To my complete surprise, I got a text from him 5 days later apologising for being MIA, he explained that he’d met up with his recent ex and that they’d realised that there was still feelings there.

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FML – He went on to explain that he thought I was a really nice girl and didn’t want to string me along. Me being the lovely girl that I am told him to go Fuck himself… Just jokes I told him I understood and that if they didn’t give it a try they’d never know.

 

Another week went by ad I didn’t give our lad Mikey another thought. Well that was until I got another text from him that went along the lines of: “Hey, it’s Mike, I understand if you want to delete my number but despite my better judgement and advise from my friends I did give it a go with my ex and perhaps not surprisingly it didn’t work out. I really thought we got on and wondered if we could possibly pick up where we left off…” – Interesting, I decided I could either actually tell him to frock off or explore this scenario further to see what would come of it… Knowing me as you do… you can probably guess that I opted for the latter.

 

We arranged to meet up the next night, I have to be honest, I was actually quite excited.

 

We went to the local pub, I got there first so went to the bar and asked him what he wanted to drink, he text back stating a beer and said he was 2 mins away. I ordered the drink and got a tap on my shoulder, I turned around to be greeted by Mikey – he definitely was good looking, but looked a lot older in the flesh – he was also shorter than I imagined. We grabbed our drinks and sat down.

 

He seemed uncomfortable but I put it down to nerves – then he suddenly realised that he had forgotten his wallet. Luckily as he lived round the corner we said we’d go and pick it up on the way to the next pub. As we were talking he exclaimed that he had completely forgotten that he was meant to be taking part in the local pub’s quiz that night with his team. Quite surprisingly he asked me if I wanted to join him – for a first date I thought it was a bit strange.

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However I figured that it was a good sign that he wanted me to meet his friends so I said yes – plus I love a good pub quiz so figured if nothing else it would be a laugh.

 

So off we went to the pub and I was greeted by his mates and quiz team, they were all really lovely and made me feel very welcome – which is more than what can be said for my date for the evening. He spent 30 minutes not looking up from his phone or taking part in the conversation, to say I was put out is putting it mildly.

 

After what seemed like forever, Mikey called me over and advised that he had been texting his friend and that she’d just found out she was pregnant and that the guy didn’t want to know and that he had to leave immediately (if not sooner). I was of course totally understanding, if not a little bit put out, especially when he turned round to all of his mates and said quiz team and announced that he would be leaving and if it would be ok if they all “looked after me” CRINGE!

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At this point I thought fuck it! I went to the bar, ordered a bottle of wine and decided that I was going to have a great night.

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We proceeded to win the prize for the best quiz name and also won the quiz – who knew! Ha! I got along famously with Mikey’s mates and they all proclaimed that even if we didn’t work out, they’d love to see me again – just lovely.

 

They dropped me off home and I concluded I’d had a great night and was hopeful that Mikey would be in touch to (at the very least) apologise. True to form I woke up the next day to receive a text from Mikey – I opened it up and read with jaw on the floor – I can dress it up, add a funny anecdote or put my own spin on it… however for now… I think its best you just read it for yourself…

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Hey, I want to apologise for leaving you last night, thankfully my friend is ok so that’s a relief. So I wanted to drop you a note to say that it was really nice to meet you, however whilst I don’t see anything romantic happening between us, my friends all loved you and would love you to become a permanent addition to the quiz team… and I agree – what do you think?!”

 

Yup! #FML

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Guest post: Top 5 Dating Secrets to finding love in 2013

Dating tips from a Professional Matchmaker, Samantha Jayne, director of Blue Label Life.
Samantha Jayne, Dating Expert and matchmaker, shares her top five dating tips to snaring the partner of your dreams.

Looking for that special someone can be exciting, exhilarating, and adventurous and at the same time daunting especially if you don’t have the right knowhow or access to those hard to reach eligible singles.

It is so true that men really are from mars and women are from Venus, we are so different in the way we communicate our needs, wants desires yet fundamentally want the same thing. Someone to love, trust and have fun with! Wouldn’t it be so much easier if we were wired the same? Easier maybe but definitely not as fun, after all it’s why they call it the dating game.
So how do you make it all happen for you? Why does it seem some people are luckier in love than others? Read on to find out….

Success in dating is all about how to best represent yourself; it’s a combination of bringing out the best in you and seeing the opportunity out other.

I can assure you that just because one has achieved professional success; it doesn’t mean that dating will come naturally. In fact, it could be quite the opposite. All those extra hours spent working hard to build your career profile can come at a sacrifice. The thing is, missed social events, gatherings and parties are all missed opportunities to let your hair down, meet new people and develop your relationship and flirting skills.

Wait a minute, Samantha. You’re not seriously saying to ditch work and go party?

That’s exactly what I’m saying.

And as you’re trusted dating expert and matchmaker, I’m going to put that as the first dating tip for successful singles.

Top five dating tips four successful singles to find love in the city!

1. Forget about all work and no play! Go on, let your hair down. Go out and meet new people and expand your circle. Find that free spirit in side of you somewhere you know it’s in you.

2. Be the person you want to date! Ever noticed how some people ooze appeal and you just can’t get enough of them where as others you can’t get away fast enough. Be the person you want to date, yes that’s right even if the date isn’t running the way you want it to have fun! The person you want to date would make light of the situation wouldn’t they?

3. Polish up your image. If you look and feel the best you will attract the best. Revamp your hair, buy a new outfit, make yourself feel like a million dollars you know you deserve it!

4. Stay true to your values. Find someone with the same values over the same taste in music. It will help in the long term. Once the honey moon period is over you can truly bond with sharing common ground.

5. Have fun! Be spontaneous even when you’re exclusive. Everybody loves a person that has fun! No one has a type. Instead, people choose to date the same kind of people because they feel comfortable doing so. Everyone’s different. Embrace each other’s unique story.

Want to find out how Blue Label Life’s professional matchmaking service can help you find love?

Our professional introduction service can mean the difference between success and failure when searching for that someone special. There is nothing like having the support of a professional when looking for love. Blue Label Life’s introduction service helps you break any old habits that may be holding you back from meeting the one and create more effective ones to have you on your path of success.

The coaching involved with our professional matchmaking service can help you break any old habits that may be holding you back and create more effective ones.
To find out more simply register for your complimentary consultation at http://www.bluelabellife.com.au or call 1300 553 510, all, Dating Sydney 101 readers receive a FREE gift upon joining, valued at $100.

GUEST POST** Speed Dating Guide: How To Give a Great First Impression To Impress Men

 

If you are thinking about trying speed dating as a way to meet new men, you might be a bit nervous and unsure of what to expect. However, speed dating can be a lot of fun, and it’s a great way to enjoy yourself and to potentially meet a great guy.

It is important to remember that with speed dating, you only get to spend a few minutes with each guy, so you want to make those few minutes count by giving off a great first impression. By following these tips, you will have the men drooling over you and wishing to spend a lot more time with you.

Dress To Impress
Since you only have a few minutes to make a good impression, you want to make sure that you look your best. Make sure that your nails are nicely groomed, your eyebrows are trimmed and plucked or waxed and that your hair is neat, clean and well-styled.

You do not want to look like you are trying too hard, however. Try wearing your hair in a pretty style that isn’t too fancy, and look for an outfit that is casual without seeming too casual. A cute skirt or skinny jeans with a pretty top and nice flats is always a good choice; you don’t want to wear a baggy T-shirt and jeans, but you don’t want to wear your nicest designer dress and four-inch stilettos either. Pick something that is cute, comfortable and flattering for your body type and that will attract the good-looking men. Also, make sure not to show too much skin — a peek here and there is ok, but make sure to leave something to the imagination.

Be Confident
If you are nervous or too shy, every man in the room will notice. If you have to, fake it until you make it, but make sure that you maintain a confident and cheerful attitude. Wearing an outfit that makes you feel good about yourself should help you to feel confident. Remembering that everyone else in the room is feel exactly the same way so try to be positive and relax as staying uptight and nervous will just make things more difficult. Do not look around at the competition, just be yourself and be confident within yourself and you will shine. You need to remember you are not looking to connect with every man in the room just one would be successful if it leads to a long-term romance, which is what every person there is looking for.

Remember — It’s Not An Interview
One mistake that many women make while speed dating is asking too many questions or taking things too seriously when the whole point of speed dating is to meet others in a fun and relaxed atmosphere, so leave the serious questions at home. Instead, opt to be humorous and cheerful, and try to make the people that you talk to feel comfortable as well. Have a certain amount of topics prepared for when you feel the conversation is a little slow, general news, films music and local activities would probably be enough to help start a good conversation and if you have prepared a few one is bound to light a spark. There will be time to ask the serious questions later if you meet someone that you would like to see again.

Listen Carefully and Respond
Since you will only be chatting with each guy for a few minutes, you want to pay attention to every word that is said. Try to make a connection with the guys that you are interested in, and pick up on passions and interests that you are interested in as well. When you share a passion or an interest this will make the conversation flow much easier so listening and responding can be a very important part of speed dating.

By following these tips, you are sure to make a great first impression on the men that you meet, and you might even find the man of your dreams. Lynn works as a dating adviser for Lovestruck Hong Kong. Lynn has learned a lot over 5 years and as learn a lot about her own relationships on the way.

GUEST POST** Date Like A Gay Guy….How changing your approach could improve your success

As two gay men that specialise in relationships we are constantly called upon to counsel our female family members and friends in a Sex in the City style Stanford Blatch and Carrie Bradshaw de-brief…although let it be said we both still have a full head of hair!

Why take our advice? Well, like you we dated, fell in love with and had our hearts broken by men and obviously we also have the advantage of also being one!

So, let’s start at the beginning…

The more you date, the more you learn about yourself and dating becomes easier. Logical yes? Practice really does make perfect, not necessarily a perfect date but closer to finding the perfect guy for you based on weeding out the rubbish!

Date one, most men consider a date simply a date. It’s a chance for both of you to get to know a little more about each other, don’t get ahead of yourself.

Most men won’t object to a little ego stroking and genuine interest in them but start the way you want to finish. You deserve the same in return so don’t give him all of your attention.

What qualities do you look for in man? Honesty, sense of humour, intelligence, manners, a friend? No doubt you have a pretty good idea of what you want so make sure you be that person too. Playing games and not showing the real you will only ever attract the wrong kind of guy.

Positivity and confidence will be the key to your successful game change. How many times have you been drawn to a guy that is theoretically the complete opposite of what you would consider your ‘type’? I would hazard a guess it was his charismatic swagger, cheeky smile and great conversation that attracted you well before you realised your checklist had been de-railed.

In some respects men are simple creatures. They don’t over analyse things and the way they show love can be more subtle, so don’t expect your love to be returned in the same way although the feelings could be just as strong.

We also know that men value physical appearance, that’s an obvious one, but before you reach for your salad it doesn’t mean stick thin bodies and the latest Chanel collection it means healthy body and mind, someone that values themselves enough to look after their appearance.

Finally, guys want to feel needed but not suffocated. Desperation is not a good look for anyone, no matter how hot you are.

Turn the tables on your dating disasters and take control. Dating isn’t rocket science and men definitely don’t treat it as such, so keep it simple and good luck!

Vinko Anthony & Andrea Anthony

Beau Brummell Introductions www.beaubrummellintroductions.com

GUEST POST*** THE ART OF BLENDR

Over the years I have befriended a lot of gay guys, they are a lot of fun, perfect party partners and they are not shy when it comes to meeting people and using them for sexual favours! As you may or may now know,  a very popular way for gay guys to meet is Grindr, an app for your phone where you can chat to people around you. It can be full of weirdos but there are also some genuinely horny people on there, in fact, a friend of a friend of mine met George Michael on Grindr and they are now great friends!

Anyway, back to the point in hand! I have always wondered why there was not a straight version. Obviously it would be a bit tamer as the gays will always outdo us straight people when it comes to being sexually active. Or so I thought…..

During the Christmas period, I went around India to try and find myself (it didn’t work, I just found my guts down a toilet bowl) and during that time a very dear friend of mine was introduced to Blendr, the straight version had finally arrived!!!!

Given that she was recently single and a very confident girl she didn’t waste any time seeing who was available around her! After a week of being given the biggest ego boost given the 100’s of messages she had received, she thought it would be a good idea to meet with a guy. He was one of the 100 who didn’t send her a picture of his junk…. Umm maybe it is very similar to Grindr??

Off she went and met a hot young man who was very sweet to her…. Ideal really! (he ended up being a nutter who called it off the day before her birthday  but that’s a story for another day)

Sooo when I got back from India and after I had had a very long shower to clean the grime off of me, I decided to download the app myself! Cue about 15 guys trying to talk to me in about half an hour. Perhaps I had discovered a good way for Sydney men to actually talk to a woman? They are terrible at doing it in bars after all!

In the space of a few days I had been chatting to Luke, Paul and Andrew who all wanted to take me for a drink (I’m guessing something more too but I am an old fashioned girl in some ways so there would be none of that).

One particular night, my friend and I were ‘Blending’ together comparing stories when a guy started messaging us both at the same time. To her, he wrote ‘ok the plan for tonight is a few drinks in Surry Hills and then for me to wake up next to you’…. I only got a ‘hello’! How very dull of him! We decided to play games with him and I asked him why he was not planning to wake up next to me after a few drinks in Surry Hills…. Poor guy had no idea what was going on!

That weekend I went to meet Paul, one of the guys who I had been messaging a lot. We met in Surry Hills but there was no chemistry. Given that I was nervous, and he was dull I just started waffling on about riveting stuff like the weather and what a bad summer we had had. After an hour I made my excuses (I had to help a friend move wink wink nudge nudge) and went to meet the girls for some cocktails to drown my sorrows!

Luckily, in January I met a rather dashing young man on a boat and we hit it off. He was from the UK so I was instantly attracted to him (I had a pact with myself that I was only going to date English guys after lots of terrible dates with Aussies). Another bonus was that I had not met him through an app on my phone. We started dating and a few months down the line we have had weekends away, declared our feelings and fallen in love, not bad considering that we met on a trashy boat party…. I deleted the app!

This is when Blendr comes back to haunt you! When you are happily living in coupledom…..

During my Blending days, I had been chatting to a doctor, let’s call him Dr John for fun! He was from the UK (bonus), a doctor, lived in Manly and had been here for a few years. We were meant to meet for Tapas so we exchanged numbers and spent a few weeks texting back and forth. On the night that I was meant to meet him I cancelled as I wanted to go on my first date with the lovely guy that I met on the boat. I told him that I was not feeling well and I asked if we could postpone. Maybe it was karma coming back to bite me in the bum but….. cue weirdness!

Things went very well on our date (obviously) so I forgot about Dr John, well that was until he text me one day telling me about his salsa dancing the night before.  Given that I had never even met the guy I decided to ignore him and hope that he would go away but the man persevered. He KEPT on messaging me for about 3 months even though I didn’t ever reply. The messages were always about random stuff like how he had ‘shaken his booty too much last night’ or how his work out at the gym was really intense! Show off!

A few weeks ago, my boyfriend and I were snuggling on the sofa when Dr John rang me! Obviously my boyfriend looked concerned as I even had him saved as Dr John on my phone so he wondered why a Dr was calling me on a Friday night. I, myself was concerned as to why he was calling me so I am not surprised that my boyfriend looked distressed.

I always think that honesty is the best policy in relationships so I explained that he was a guy I had been talking to on Blendr and that even though I had been ignoring him for 3 months he was still trying to get in touch. I decided to answer my phone, tell him to leave me alone and hang up!

I did exactly that and felt ever so slightly freaked out that he hadn’t given up yet, it’s not like we had even met each other. He messaged me straight away saying ‘no problem’

I went to sleep that night thinking that that was that….. Of course I was mistaken.

On Sunday, I was out for lunch with my boyfriend when a message came through, jokingly, we both said ‘oh I bet it’s from Dr John’ and low and behold it was!

The message said that he had written about me in his blog as though nothing had happened the other night WTF!!??!!??

I was getting angry now, yes I had been rude by ignoring him but this was just taking the biscuit now, for a Dr, he was not a very smart man!!

I replied saying that he had obviously NOT got the message the other day and once again asked him to leave me alone. Again, he responded asking what he had done wrong and I started to think if this guy had mental issues!

Enough was enough and I simply told him that I had a boyfriend now and that I would like him to leave me alone. Job done….. although now I am waiting for him to ‘check in’ to see if I am single again… just in case!

Dr John has now moved on, after many sleepless nights I am sure J he was even messaging my friend the other day so it proves that Blendr is a numbers game!

So girls, if you are considering taking the jump into the world of app dating I have a few tips for you…

  1. Know what you are getting into- you will see a lot of penis, even if you didn’t ask for it
  2. Be realistic- I doubt that you will find your prince on there
  3. Be careful on who you give your number out to unless you want to be stalked
  4. Never give out personal details
  5. Always tell a friend where you are going if you go and meet someone

And last but not least….

Always practice safe sex……

Happy Blending!

GUEST POST** To go back or not to go back?

The inevitable question. You’re finally in a great relationship, hit a few speed bumps and then out of nowhere, you’re blind sighted and it’s all over. He pulls the plug. No conversation, no notice it’s just done.

So you do the best you can to move on. Throw in some half drunken texts about how he misses you and that’s about the extent of the effort from his end.

 

Then comes the day that you knew would happen. You even told him at the time of said break up it would happen. Yes, he comes crawling back. For most women out there, I’m sure this has regularly occurred for you too. That radar comes on ‘oh she is happy and going along ok, let’s come in and disrupt her progress.’

The text message comes in out of the blue:

 

Hi, I was wondering if after work tonight you would like to catch up for coffee or a drink?

 

Holding on to that hard ass attitude you required to save face during the break up, the text back is cold but with a miniscule bit of interest. Damn that tiny part! But to be mature and move on from the situation, maybe you say ok.

 

After rocking up late and making him wait, you feel like you’re in control. Then out comes a two page letter accompanied by a glass of wine. Are you supposed to swoon over the nice things said in the letter? Do you say too little too late? Or use more abusive words? Oh and another note, always, always make it coffee not wine!

 

Say you were friends before and you agree to just go back down that path to help you move on. This slowly turns into hanging out more and more and then…… you guessed it you’ve gone right back there.

 

Always one of those girls who is strong and hates others who do this, why is it always so easy to happen to you?

 

Once you’ve decided you’re going back, it’s important to let go of what happened. You know you can’t be throwing that in his face it just won’t work. But how do you work out that fine line of just how much effort you should be putting in compared to him. Is it really always 50/50?

 

My very wise mother who has been married to my father for 32 years tells me it’s not always 50/50. Sometimes it’s 80/20 pending on who did what wrong. And sometimes the other person needs to put in more effort. At the end of the day, if you’re the one who made the mistake and you say you’ll do anything to give things another go, a woman needs to see this ongoing effort (note, ongoing means longer than a couple of weeks).

 

What do you do when you hit conflict the second time? When you hit a road block and you work out as a couple you have trouble getting through times of conflict. Is it fair to think, it was a mistake agreeing to start things up again? Is it an asset that you can see the other person making immense effort in areas where they bailed before?

 

Dating is hard enough as everyone seems to manage their own lives and have little knowledge on how to give and take. It’s difficult to meet someone you click with, so when you do how much do you stick in there through the tough times when it didn’t work before?

 

I believe at the end of the day, it’s always up to the individual. It’s important for friends and family not to judge, just to be there and support the relationship if it works and if it doesn’t. Sometimes maybe you just have to throw the rules out the window. We’re in 2012, I think the rules are, there are no rules anymore. As a couple you can only do what works for you.

 

Simply Black and White

www.simplyblackandwhite.com.au

GUEST POST*** Mardi Gras – I heart!

 

In the past week alone I have been called “a gay man trapped in a woman’s body” four times. In fact, my gay friends often say this to me, and my straight friends all agree. So it’s no wonder that I am extremely excited about the prospect of being part of Sydney’s annual Mardi Gras for the first time. I will even go so far as to admit that I am *secretly* glad that PGW was cancelled due to flooding (I booked my ticket before I knew of the major diary clash – I blame being new to Sydney).

 

What started in 1979 as a celebration following a gay rights protest has since become one of the must-see annual events this fabulous city has to offer. Over 70,000 people are expected to line Oxford Street and hit Hyde Park as flamboyant floats make their way through the crowds in celebration of all things gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender. And I am in no doubt that there will be fag hags a-plenty – me included.

 

One of the most exciting things about this year’s event is that the Aussie diva herself, Miss Kylie Minogue, will be part of the celebrations. 2012 is the year of K25 and what better way for her to mark the occasion than being part of Mardi Gras? Kylie will be performing at the afterparty and there is a very special Kylie-themed float expected to head the parade which I can’t wait to see in true fag hag style.

 

The term fag hag has long been unjustifiably tainted with the notion that we are nothing more than girls who can’t get a boyfriend so hang off the arm of her gbf until she eventually dies alone. True, that might be the case for some, but we are also funny, sharp, quick-witted and caring. We have excellent taste and never settle for second best. We are in fact gay men trapped inside women’s bodies.

 

The Urban Dictionary says that you are a true fag hag if:

  -You are a straight girl who has a best friend who is gay and spends a lot of   time together

-You   would rather go to a gay club than a straight club

-Your fag gave you your own drag name

-You know all the gay guys at the local gay   bar

-Your fag takes you shopping for MAC makeup   and then puts it on you

-Your hair and makeup are always flawless

-You dress up in his drag gear on Saturday   night or dress in drag together

-You even dance with all the fags on stage   when Britney Spears comes on

-You learned to vouge from watching your fag

-You fall in love with your fag (which is a   bad thing)

-You try to convert your fag (this will only   ruin your relationship with him)

 

And   lastly… you find yourself not being able to live without him because you have   so much fun with him.

 

Ok, not all of the above is necessarily the case, but it’s a pretty good definition. Fag hags love Mardi Gras as much (sometimes more) than the gays because they truly feel a part of the celebration too. They feel that they are part of this community, they just with a secret other life where they play a straight person going out with a guy (who will never be better than their gbf, obvs).

The brilliant thing about Mardi Gras is that although it is a celebration of gay rights, anyone can join in and feel comfortable with who they are – gay or straight. The gays welcome everyone and if we were all a bit more accpeting, life could be like Mardi Gras every day!

 

http://www.mardigras.org.au/index.cfm