Guest Post** My friends think you’re wonderful…

It’s been a while and I have a backlog of dating disaster tales what I feel are only too appropriate to share… I’m going to start with the story of a guy I met on Match.com. Brace yourselves, buckle up and get ready to be thankful you’re not me right now…

 

I had joined up Match.com on a trial basis to see what the offerings were out there. It was a time before tinder, a time when Match.com was one of the few forms of dating that held a much higher probability ratio of not receiving dick pictures (always a bonus).

 

I had matched with a cute older guy, a bit older than I normally go for but figured YOLO and he was 36, not 56! Ha!

 

After we got chatting he revealed that he was a TV presenter for a world famous football clubs TV channel, interesting. So I did the thing any self respecting girl would do, I Google searched the fuck out of him – true to form, Google didn’t let me down. As said man, let’s call him Mikey (name changed obvs) was kinda in the public eye, I was able to see the public’s feedback and perceptions of him… let’s just say it wasn’t pretty.

 

I figured people were just jealous of his privileged job, so decided that I would try to figure out how much of a *prick* he was for myself… #ahem

 

After chatting on the site for a couple of days, he asked me for my number, a good sign in my eyes, so I dutifully obliged. To my surprise he text me almost immediately and asked if I’d like to go out. I was definitely interested in getting to know him better and to meet him in the flesh so I agreed… three days went by and nothing/ nada/ sweet FA – honestly why do men bother to ask you out if all they want is an ego boost. I deleted his number of figured another one bites the dust and that it was over before it began anyway – his lose etc

 

To my complete surprise, I got a text from him 5 days later apologising for being MIA, he explained that he’d met up with his recent ex and that they’d realised that there was still feelings there.

FML – He went on to explain that he thought I was a really nice girl and didn’t want to string me along. Me being the lovely girl that I am told him to go Fuck himself… Just jokes I told him I understood and that if they didn’t give it a try they’d never know.

 

Another week went by ad I didn’t give our lad Mikey another thought. Well that was until I got another text from him that went along the lines of: “Hey, it’s Mike, I understand if you want to delete my number but despite my better judgement and advise from my friends I did give it a go with my ex and perhaps not surprisingly it didn’t work out. I really thought we got on and wondered if we could possibly pick up where we left off…” – Interesting, I decided I could either actually tell him to frock off or explore this scenario further to see what would come of it… Knowing me as you do… you can probably guess that I opted for the latter.

 

We arranged to meet up the next night, I have to be honest, I was actually quite excited.

 

We went to the local pub, I got there first so went to the bar and asked him what he wanted to drink, he text back stating a beer and said he was 2 mins away. I ordered the drink and got a tap on my shoulder, I turned around to be greeted by Mikey – he definitely was good looking, but looked a lot older in the flesh – he was also shorter than I imagined. We grabbed our drinks and sat down.

 

He seemed uncomfortable but I put it down to nerves – then he suddenly realised that he had forgotten his wallet. Luckily as he lived round the corner we said we’d go and pick it up on the way to the next pub. As we were talking he exclaimed that he had completely forgotten that he was meant to be taking part in the local pub’s quiz that night with his team. Quite surprisingly he asked me if I wanted to join him – for a first date I thought it was a bit strange.

 

However I figured that it was a good sign that he wanted me to meet his friends so I said yes – plus I love a good pub quiz so figured if nothing else it would be a laugh.

 

So off we went to the pub and I was greeted by his mates and quiz team, they were all really lovely and made me feel very welcome – which is more than what can be said for my date for the evening. He spent 30 minutes not looking up from his phone or taking part in the conversation, to say I was put out is putting it mildly.

 

After what seemed like forever, Mikey called me over and advised that he had been texting his friend and that she’d just found out she was pregnant and that the guy didn’t want to know and that he had to leave immediately (if not sooner). I was of course totally understanding, if not a little bit put out, especially when he turned round to all of his mates and said quiz team and announced that he would be leaving and if it would be ok if they all “looked after me” CRINGE!

At this point I thought fuck it! I went to the bar, ordered a bottle of wine and decided that I was going to have a great night.

We proceeded to win the prize for the best quiz name and also won the quiz – who knew! Ha! I got along famously with Mikey’s mates and they all proclaimed that even if we didn’t work out, they’d love to see me again – just lovely.

 

They dropped me off home and I concluded I’d had a great night and was hopeful that Mikey would be in touch to (at the very least) apologise. True to form I woke up the next day to receive a text from Mikey – I opened it up and read with jaw on the floor – I can dress it up, add a funny anecdote or put my own spin on it… however for now… I think its best you just read it for yourself…

“Hey, I want to apologise for leaving you last night, thankfully my friend is ok so that’s a relief. So I wanted to drop you a note to say that it was really nice to meet you, however whilst I don’t see anything romantic happening between us, my friends all loved you and would love you to become a permanent addition to the quiz team… and I agree – what do you think?!”

 

Yup! #FML

Dating 101** We’re back!

Ok so it’s been a while since I’ve blogged on here, I figured I’ve stored up some pretty impressive gems over the past few months, along with a nice little stash of guest entries to add to the mix.

 

Having lived in Sydney for four and half years, I was starting to think that Sydney dating was a whole different kettle of fish to the rest of the world… Well, let me tell you that after a year away from Sydney throughout 2013, it isn’t! Unless I have a target on my head for moronic idiots, or people with a worrying disposition in terms of general life – it ain’t too great on t’other side of the pond either!

 

In a nutshell we have the following to update you on:

 

• The egotistical TV presenter who left me alone at his friend’s quiz night on our first date…

 

• The OCD letter counting (yes you read correctly) former drug addict (yup and again) who chose to reveal this little ‘trait’ on our sixth and final date…

 

• The crazy guy of Match.com who started spouting Satanic ramblings about me being judged in my next life…

 

• The guy who I thought seemed nice, but turned out to be renowned as the local coke head and general tool (news to me)…

 

Considering I only went on dates with six men last year… the stats aren’t looking great!

 

Well Dating 101 Sydney will be coming back with more content: recommended dating venues, first date ideas in Sydney, features on dating/ single life and much, much more!

 

I’m going to be taking a back seat when it comes to the dating blogs – think I’ve put you all through enough of that to last you a lifetime (I’ll part with the four posts I’ve alluded to above!)

 

I will however be hosting guest dating blogs and posts – so if you want to contribute, e-mail me dating101sydney@hotmail.com

 

I look forward to hearing all your feedback and sharing stories with you.

CELEBRITY 101** My week avoiding Gerard Butler

As you probably know, I like to go to the odd party or two and love living in Sydney! As a Brit who’s flown the nest, I’ve been here 5 years now and am proud to call this country home!

 

I love that I get to see Sydney from a privileged viewpoint and don’t ever take it for granted! Coming from a small working class town in the North West of England, I don’t ever forget where I come from, but am thankful for the experiences that I have been fortunate enough to be a part of since arriving here in Jan 2009.

I recently had a week that just makes living in Sydney all the more surreal, yet all the more wonderful!

I went to the Sol Beer MTV VIP party a couple of on Friday 7th March, it was a great event, fab Djs, free beer and Mexican food and a great location – what’s not to love!

 

My lovely friend and I got to talking about out ideal man… as you do! My lovely companion advised that she tends to go for blue-eyed, preppy, clean cut blondies who are ambitious and independent, as a general rule – whereas I couldn’t pinpoint my exact type without referring to an actual person – Gerard Butler – successful, British (more importanly Scottish), humble, likes a party and appears to not take himself too seriously and of course easy on the eye! We laughed at the slim chance of me meeting an A list actor and carried on with our night….

Only for me to get home and check my Facebook to see that my lovely old boss Juliet had uploaded a picture with said A-list star at The Royal Hotel in Paddington, my old local and stomping ground… no it couldn’t be… oh yes it was:

 

Juliet proceeded to tell me that they had a few drinks with him throughout the course of the evening and that he was lovely, of course he bloody well was! – Cue story in the morning after’s Daily Tele’s Confidential section advising that the lovely man in question had been ‘spotted’ at The Royal in Paddington with a ‘mysterious blonde’, who was of course the lovely Juliet ! What are the chances hey?! It appears that they’re not actually as far fetched as I initially thought!

 

Fast forward to the Saturday night, I had decided to go camping at The Basin instead of going to Future Festival as I was trying to be good and it was a friends birthday! The day after I found out my friend Sasha was there and had a great day – I wish I’d have known as I would’ve gone with her! After a great night camping I decided to check my phone the Sunday morning… Cue the following status from Sasha – #GREEN!

 

So once is a funny story, twice is a massive coincidence right…. It gets worse…

 

 

A week of work passes by and I decided to have a chilled Friday night with my friend – I cooked dinner, we chilled in the spa, watched Sleepless in Seattle… at about 10 I decided to check my Facebook to be greeted by not one, but two of the following statuses! Yup NOT EVEN KIDDING! This is getting a bit ridiculous…

 

 

I didn’t let this get to me, I am happy for my friends – it’s not everyday one of your friend’s gets to meet an A list star (you’d THINK!)… Plus one of my clients is based at Fox Studios and I had a meeting there later that week, so who knows, I may bump into him whilst ordering my coffee before my meeting… here’s hoping!

 

 

Roll on Saturday, I went on a boat round the harbour during the day with 20 of my friends – a lovely day. I was due to go to the VIP launch of Casablanca Bar in Double Bay, but had other plans to catch up with some girlfriends… Low and behold who was the VIP guest at the launch… oh yes that’s right – Mr Butler himself! I give up!

 

 

You’d think that after all that, I’d start to think that the powers that be are trying to tell me something – we no, not me, resilience is my middle name… how did I know that this attitude would come to bite me back in the butt..?

 

 

I was messaging a friend of mine on the Sunday morning, who was also meant to be at the Casablanca event the previous evening, I was laughing and tell her about my ‘week avoiding Gerard Butler’ she advised that she didn’t go either – we arranged to meet up, she did say she was going to Winery, but I figured I’d go for a walk along the Watson’s Bay headland and take advantage of the sunny Sydney Sunday morning… the Sunny Sydney Sunday morning didn’t last very long as a storm broke out… so I sheltered in Bondi at Trios with my lovely friend Sprite!

 

 

After a day of relaxing, I went to the cinema to watch Monuments Men, a perfect way to end a lovely weekend! The film was only ok, I decided to walk back to Pyrmont as it was a nice evening, whilst walking I noticed I had a text message from my friend Natasha who I’d been chatting to in the morning about my week, I leave you on this note, I’ll leave it to you to imagine what my reaction was…

 

So I’m walking along the street after having a big lunch with my gay friend at the winery and I notice Gerald butler is standing in front of me. He turns around and asks me to help him find somewhere to eat. So I find a quiet place on crown where it is literally dead as people have been harassing him, and we have coffee and he tells me all about this movie he is making here! I then stand up after an hour and a half and say I have to go and work and then say goodbye! Sooo random!! hahaha crazy after us texting about him this morning lol still can’t believe it 

 

NO WORDS! I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again – “Is there a camera following me around or what?!”

 

Most Aussie men think relationship equality exists…most Aussie women don’t

Online survey findings ahead of International Women’s Day tomorrow, give me strength!!

On the eve of this year’s International Women’s Day, the theme of which is gender equality, a survey has found that most Australian men view their female partner as their relationship equal but most Australian women do not see themselves like that.

Online dating site Victoria Milan asked its Australian members what they think is the role of the woman in their relationship. A total of 1,745 people responded, with 55 per cent of males saying that their female partners had an independent, modern role that was equal to theirs, whereas only 33% of women said that of themselves.

“Australia has a female Prime Minister, a female Governor-General and females in many other important jobs but two thirds of Aussie women think their role in their relationship is not equal to that of their man,” said Mark Worwood, Australian Country Manager of Victoria Milan, an online dating site designed specifically for married and otherwise attached adults seeking a discreet flirt or real-life affair.

“Victoria Milan believes in relationship gender equality, providing a safe, anonymous and confidential online environment both Aussie men and women can use to seek an innocent web flirt, a casual one-night stand or a long-term love affair.”

I’m sure that’s not all it would be!!! If you don’t want to be in a relationship… Don’t be In one we say!!

VictoriaMilan.com.au is Australia’s new infidelity site whose tagline is relive the passion, find your affair. Founded in Norway in October 2010 by happily married Sigurd Vedal, Victoria Milan is an online dating site designed specifically for married and otherwise attached adults seeking a discreet flirt or real-life affair. Currently Victoria Milan has more than 2,000,000 members in 19 countries worldwide.

Guest post: Top 5 Dating Secrets to finding love in 2013

Dating tips from a Professional Matchmaker, Samantha Jayne, director of Blue Label Life.
Samantha Jayne, Dating Expert and matchmaker, shares her top five dating tips to snaring the partner of your dreams.

Looking for that special someone can be exciting, exhilarating, and adventurous and at the same time daunting especially if you don’t have the right knowhow or access to those hard to reach eligible singles.

It is so true that men really are from mars and women are from Venus, we are so different in the way we communicate our needs, wants desires yet fundamentally want the same thing. Someone to love, trust and have fun with! Wouldn’t it be so much easier if we were wired the same? Easier maybe but definitely not as fun, after all it’s why they call it the dating game.
So how do you make it all happen for you? Why does it seem some people are luckier in love than others? Read on to find out….

Success in dating is all about how to best represent yourself; it’s a combination of bringing out the best in you and seeing the opportunity out other.

I can assure you that just because one has achieved professional success; it doesn’t mean that dating will come naturally. In fact, it could be quite the opposite. All those extra hours spent working hard to build your career profile can come at a sacrifice. The thing is, missed social events, gatherings and parties are all missed opportunities to let your hair down, meet new people and develop your relationship and flirting skills.

Wait a minute, Samantha. You’re not seriously saying to ditch work and go party?

That’s exactly what I’m saying.

And as you’re trusted dating expert and matchmaker, I’m going to put that as the first dating tip for successful singles.

Top five dating tips four successful singles to find love in the city!

1. Forget about all work and no play! Go on, let your hair down. Go out and meet new people and expand your circle. Find that free spirit in side of you somewhere you know it’s in you.

2. Be the person you want to date! Ever noticed how some people ooze appeal and you just can’t get enough of them where as others you can’t get away fast enough. Be the person you want to date, yes that’s right even if the date isn’t running the way you want it to have fun! The person you want to date would make light of the situation wouldn’t they?

3. Polish up your image. If you look and feel the best you will attract the best. Revamp your hair, buy a new outfit, make yourself feel like a million dollars you know you deserve it!

4. Stay true to your values. Find someone with the same values over the same taste in music. It will help in the long term. Once the honey moon period is over you can truly bond with sharing common ground.

5. Have fun! Be spontaneous even when you’re exclusive. Everybody loves a person that has fun! No one has a type. Instead, people choose to date the same kind of people because they feel comfortable doing so. Everyone’s different. Embrace each other’s unique story.

Want to find out how Blue Label Life’s professional matchmaking service can help you find love?

Our professional introduction service can mean the difference between success and failure when searching for that someone special. There is nothing like having the support of a professional when looking for love. Blue Label Life’s introduction service helps you break any old habits that may be holding you back from meeting the one and create more effective ones to have you on your path of success.

The coaching involved with our professional matchmaking service can help you break any old habits that may be holding you back and create more effective ones.
To find out more simply register for your complimentary consultation at http://www.bluelabellife.com.au or call 1300 553 510, all, Dating Sydney 101 readers receive a FREE gift upon joining, valued at $100.

FEATURE: Single men of Australia: lose the facial hair to win the girl

 

76% of Australians want to see the return of the clean shaven man

 

Despite it being fashionable at the moment, facial hair on men is a distinct turn-off for women according to the Gillette Kissing Survey, conducted by Australia’s largest online dating site, RSVP.com.au. I have to say that I much prefer facial hair, but each to their own I guess!

 

A massive 80% of women surveyed indicated that they would prefer to see the return of the clean shaven face while 77% of women have opted not to kiss a man due to having a beard or stubble. Interestingly, 71% of men also agree, despite the fact that this would involve considerably more effort on their part.

 

And it’s not just for purely cosmetic reasons that most believe that a shaven face is the best option – the survey also revealed a number of more practical benefits for those who make the effort to shave each morning.

 

Firstly, 84% thought that a clean shave was better than facial hair for kissing (85% women and 83% men). This is hardly a surprising result given 79% of women confessed to having suffered from the dreaded pash-rash as a result of their hairy faced kissing companion.

Secondly, it is widely regarded as the safest bet when it comes to impressing others, with 92% agreeing that you should shave before a first date (93% women and 91% men) and 84% believing that a clean shave is essential when meeting your partner’s parents for the first time (85% women and 83% men).

 

Other key findings include;

• 48% of women claim to have rejected a man’s advances on the basis of his red, irritated skin
• 79% of people believe that there is a stigma attached to men who don’t shave regularly as they are seen to take less pride in their appearance

Summarising the results, relationship expert, Dr Nikki Goldstein says, “If a man is really confident with his sexuality then he should not try to prove it through facial hair (which some see as a sign of masculinity or toughness) but with intelligence, wit and by making a woman feel special through making the effort to impress.

“Just as women go to great lengths to get ready for that big first date and make a lasting impression, so should men. Show your date that she is important enough for you to take pride in your appearance and shave. This is particularly important if you’re looking for that first kiss, an occasion that should be an intimate and sensual act, but can turn ugly if the girl is left with a painful and embarrassing reminder the next day.”

To help Australian men get the clean, neat look that both men and women want, the Gillette MACH3 Turbo Sensitive provides an exceptionally close shave with less skin irritation even on the most sensitive areas of their face.

The Gillette Mach3 Turbo Sensitive will be available in Australia at leading outlets for RRP $11.99. For stockist enquiries please call: 1800 148 022.

GUEST POST** Date Like A Gay Guy….How changing your approach could improve your success

As two gay men that specialise in relationships we are constantly called upon to counsel our female family members and friends in a Sex in the City style Stanford Blatch and Carrie Bradshaw de-brief…although let it be said we both still have a full head of hair!

Why take our advice? Well, like you we dated, fell in love with and had our hearts broken by men and obviously we also have the advantage of also being one!

So, let’s start at the beginning…

The more you date, the more you learn about yourself and dating becomes easier. Logical yes? Practice really does make perfect, not necessarily a perfect date but closer to finding the perfect guy for you based on weeding out the rubbish!

Date one, most men consider a date simply a date. It’s a chance for both of you to get to know a little more about each other, don’t get ahead of yourself.

Most men won’t object to a little ego stroking and genuine interest in them but start the way you want to finish. You deserve the same in return so don’t give him all of your attention.

What qualities do you look for in man? Honesty, sense of humour, intelligence, manners, a friend? No doubt you have a pretty good idea of what you want so make sure you be that person too. Playing games and not showing the real you will only ever attract the wrong kind of guy.

Positivity and confidence will be the key to your successful game change. How many times have you been drawn to a guy that is theoretically the complete opposite of what you would consider your ‘type’? I would hazard a guess it was his charismatic swagger, cheeky smile and great conversation that attracted you well before you realised your checklist had been de-railed.

In some respects men are simple creatures. They don’t over analyse things and the way they show love can be more subtle, so don’t expect your love to be returned in the same way although the feelings could be just as strong.

We also know that men value physical appearance, that’s an obvious one, but before you reach for your salad it doesn’t mean stick thin bodies and the latest Chanel collection it means healthy body and mind, someone that values themselves enough to look after their appearance.

Finally, guys want to feel needed but not suffocated. Desperation is not a good look for anyone, no matter how hot you are.

Turn the tables on your dating disasters and take control. Dating isn’t rocket science and men definitely don’t treat it as such, so keep it simple and good luck!

Vinko Anthony & Andrea Anthony

Beau Brummell Introductions www.beaubrummellintroductions.com

COMPETITION – This Means War

It’s been a while since I reviewed a film on here so I figured it was about time I rectified this! The lovely people at 20^th Century Fox approached me to review the film, This Means War; I figured a film about two guys vying for the attention of a lovely lady in the form of Reece Witherspoon I couldn’t go wrong in terms of subject matter. (This is a dating blog after all!)

And let me just say this if you’re expecting the usual chick flick bore – you could not be more mistaken! There is more actions in this movie than you can shake a stick at, it has the undeniably attractive Tom Hardy in it – I mean HOT, HOT, HOT (and then some)!!!!!!

Then we have the enviable Reece Witherspoon, who quite clearly I’m insanely jealous of! Not only does she have two hot bods Tom Hardy and Chris Pine (who I swear to god has the bluest eyes you’ve ever seen!)  fighting (when I say fighting I mean practically killing each other) for her affections – She also comes across as one of those people that are undeniably lovely in every sense! You kind of want her to be your friend, I’m pretty sure if we met we’d be BBF (I’m just kidding of course, ahem) back to the review in hand.

Reece plays the girl-next-door relatable Lauren, she’s been single for as long as she can remember. So long in fact that her hysterical sister, Trish, played by the hilarious scene stealing Chelsea Handler (who’d have thought it hey?! Certainly not me, but she is fabulous in it, self-depredating and just light comedic relief!)  signs her up for an online dating profile, much to her dismay.

Cue, movie opening, action fest scene (where one could be forgiven for thinking that it’s going to be a boy flick, if not for the fact that Reece Witherspoon is in it!) where Tom’s character Tuck and his partner/ best friend: FDR race to prevent the leading Russian baddie – played by Til Schweiger – from getting away with the money and briefcase (which one can only assume contains a weapon of mass destruction, this is only alluded to, so we have to use our imagination here!).

Following the opening scene, where they cause havoc by ultimately saving the day, leaving damage and destruction and a seething Russian villan vying for their blood in their wake, we’re introduced to the more sensitive side of Tuk – as he longs for a women to share his life with. As a result of this realisation, he decides to set up an online dating account…

Now I don’t want to ruin the film for you, otherwise you won’t want to see it for yourself will you? Aside from the name of the film and the file’s poster below, you can assume that what ensues is a dramatic quest to win the girl by two best friends with the resources of being a secret spy at their disposal!

It got me to thinking about my experiences, I’ve never had two guys chasing after me (we not at least to the knowledge of the other) however I have had the shoe on the other foot when another girl has been interested in a guy I’ve seen before, or been seeing – I have to be honest in saying that I think there are that many men/ women in the world, there is absolutely no reason why best friends, friends even, feel that they need to go for the same one.

That is unless, one of you truly feels that the relationship could be something more than just a fling and the other person feels the same. In these occasions I feel it’s necessary for the other person to step aside – who is anyone to stand in the path of true love??

Back to the film… What I will say that it is perfect date night movie – enough action for the boys, enough romantic gushy scenes (and might I mention shit loads of guy candy in the form of Tom and Chris – Mother may I!?). It is a must-see movie that I’m certain will not disappoint!

Tom and Chris are great in their roles, both are very convincing in their feelings for Reece’s character Lauren. As for Reece, well you just want to be her.

Suffice to say, I invite you to go and see the movie for yourself. So much so, I’m offering two Dating101Sydney Blog readers the chance to win a copy of the film on Blu-Ray and DVD. All you have to do is tell me whether you would choose Tom Hardy or Chris Pine and why.

If you’re not selected as one of the lucky winners – This Means War is available across Australia now on Blu-Ray and DVD.

Here’s a sneak preview for you:

Celebrity relationships – Is there one, seriously one, that will work?!

 

I challenge you to name one celebrity relationship that has stood the test of time, bumps in the road and paparazzi intrusion – who can you say has stood together as a unit, showing that they have a bind that not even Hollywood can break? In light on the TomKat divorce revelation, not that I can say I’m surprised, oh and Johnny Deep and Vanessa Paradis, it only further reinforces to me that Hollywood marriages just can’t stand the heat in the kitchen!

Well I’ll concede to Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell, who have been in relationship since 1983, which is practically a lifetime by Hollywood standards, however they never officially married – maybe that’s the trick??

Ahh, I have thought of one, it took a lot of time and a little bit of help from Google, Antonio Banderas and Melanie Griffith, who married in 1996 – however it is worth noting that it is neither of the couple’s first marriage.

The only celebrity marriage that I can think of that is still going strong, which was both parties first marriage – Jay Z and Beyonce Knowles – After 12 years  – they’re flying the flag of the celebrity ‘super power couple’ that are proving their critics wrong!

I remember sitting with my high school friends and listing couples that we saw to be ‘united’, ‘solid’ and ‘loving’, these couples we announced to each other, should they ever break up, have rumours of infidelity or let us down, it would prove that there is no hope out there for us!

The list was (oh how naive we were…)

1. Posh and Becks
2. Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Philippe
3. Jennifer Anniston and Brad Pitt
4. Tess Daly and Vernon Kay (British TV presenters)
5. Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey (I know, I knooowwww!!!)

 

Looking kinda ‘shady’ there Ryan… Just sayin!

Yup that was our top five couples… The five couples we truly believed had found ‘The One’, the couples that we would look up to forever as a shining example of true love… HOW WRONG WE WERE – Not one, not ONE, of the couples have seen out the past twelve years without infidelity rumours, divorces and two of the ‘golden couples’ have even remarried to other shining stars!

 

So as a test to myself and true love, I’ll list five couples that are together now that I would like to see still with their partners (notice i don’t say marriage, as in all honesty, I can’t for the life of my think of any!) in ten years time, question is, “Would you bet your bottom dollar on ANY of the below?”.

1. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie
2. Jennifer Anniston and Justin Theroux
3. Jennifer Lawrence and Nicholas Hoult
4. Emma Stone and Andrew Garfield
5. Here’s a two-for-one for good measure: Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez (ahem) or Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth

 

Ahhh young love… me…cynic?!

So am I being a cynic here? I’d love to know your thoughts…

Should I ask him to add me on Facebook? – worse still should I add him… No to all of the above!

Ahh the perils of the modern world, the politics and what we ‘should’ or ‘shouldn’t do’, there is no written rule book about what the ‘right’ thing to do is, however there are plenty of ‘opinions’ out there that are often misconstrued as ‘facts’. (I maybe am going slightly overboard here with the ‘inverted commas’ however I’ll continue because I can!)

I’ve been guilty on more than one occasion of randomly adding people on Facebook after we’ve shared a moment of eye contact, or you know, held a conversation for longer than 30 seconds, or one step further spent the night (one) together.

When I took it upon myself to ask these ‘friends’ to be my Facebook friend, I was not only opening them up to be a facebook friend, no, I was inviting them to have a front row seat into the drama that is my life (well my life since I joined the book of face in 2007 – Cripes, that’s five years ago…).

A lot has happened in the past five years, relationships have broken down, I’ve travelled the world, I’ve moved across the pond, had more boozy nights out than I care (want) to remember and underneath all that, have it displayed on line on an ever so efficient timeline for all my facebook friends/ acquaintances/ people I met on a Groovy Grape tour about three years ago and have never seen since to have access to at the click of a mouse.

It does baffle me, as for someone that’s quite guarded when it comes to opening up (not anonymously I might add) about my personal life and history, why I found it so easy to click ‘add fiend’ to someone I’ve just met, that I possibly fancied and wanted to get to know better…

Worse still, I’ve pestered a guy I was dating to add me on facebook on more than one occasion, he wasn’t someone I was exclusive with, in fact we’d never even been on a date, he was my Saturday night go-to guy and I was the same for him (but girl-type obvs!). Now I have the benefit of a lil’ thing called perspective, I can now see why he might have been a little bit reluctant to accept me as a ‘friend’ and in that provide me with a golden ticket to peak into the window into his private life.

On the flip side, when guys have let me add them or they’ve followed up on my request for them to add me, because apparently it’s better that way… (seriously I have friends that refuse to add anyone as a friend, but see noooo drama at all in asking a guy to add them as ‘they’ve never added anyone on facebook’ the mind boggles!) Who have gone cold once the dreaded accept friend request tab has been clicked. No doubt it was because they’d lost interest after scanning my picture and have seen me on many a night out, looking worse for wear, along with images and albums that contain pictures of me with dates from girlfriend’s past!

I also think that it very much has the potential to put you slap bang into middle of the ‘clingy’ category if you add them on facebook too soon/ first/ ask them to add you. I genuinely think that if a guy likes you or sees a future, they’ll add you on FB once you’ve got to know each other better and are genuine friends outside of the cyber world. Alternatively, if you add them and they see a possible future, are you willing to open the can of worms that they might see something they don’t like too soon that raises questions that probably wouldn’t play on their mind should they have got to have know then ‘real’ you first!

There’s first date dating etiquette – one of the rules I started to live by was to not reveal my entire life story before the first course, so why in god’s name did I feel it was acceptable to add a guy on the book of face and open him up to my 67 albums (I knooowwww!) my status updates from the past five years and pictures of my ex, before I even know if he had any brothers or sisters.

No doubt that the advent of social media has changed the dating landscape and we’re all learning as we go, the advise that I would like to impart, is to imagine that facebook is one of your friends that always says the wrong thing at the wrong time, reveals information that little bit too soon to your potential significant other and shows pictures of you looking less than ideal (i.e. last St Paddy’s Day with a pint of Guinness dribbling down your chin!)When all you want to be perceived as is a ‘tidy bird’ with class and sophistication. Facebook my dear loyal followers is the cyber version of that mate, you know that you like them and when you spend time with them you have fun catching up on the gossip of others, but you know to keep them at arms length when there’s a new man in town.

So in answer to my initial questions

• Should I ask him to add me on facbook – NO!
• Should I add him on Facebook – NO!

And one more:

• Should I realistically not add him on Facebook until at least the fourth date – What do you think, I’m guessing – NO!

The cyber ages might be changing the dating landscape, but don’t let them change your dating style – always keep some of you back – leave them wanting more – don’t have them reaching for the ‘delete friend’ tab, it will only end in tears before bedtime, TRUST ME!