I was reading Cosmopolitan recently and I came across an article on page 28 of the January edition called ‘Are you Guy Polar?’ and it got me to thinking about my ‘type’ and my friend’s ‘types’.
I definitely used to have a type when I was younger; it was geared towards to looks massively! I cared more about what other people thought about my ‘beau’ rather than looking at him as a person and the way that they treated me – fail!
At this point in my life I was definitely not showing any of the symptoms of being Guy-Polar – As long as they were tall, dark and handsome and in demand, sure they’d be a bit of a cock sure jerk, but that is all part of the appeal right?! – They had me at “Hello” (For my sins! Ohhh the trials and tribulations of trying to turn a bad guy good…)
I was having this discussion with my colleagues earlier on in the week and I was talking to them about what I used to go for in terms of a beau/ date and what my ‘type’ was/ is. Upon reflection I came to the conclusion that the past few guys I’ve dated couldn’t be more different, in terms of looks, personality – well, everything basically.
After many a dating fail (all documented on here) I started to think that if they were nice people and treated me well and I was attracted to them, I should see what happens – I figured at the basis of every relationship is a solid friendship – so above everything I figured I’d have to get on with them pretty well as a starter!
Suffice to say most of them turned out to be disappointments, but hey that’s all part of the fun right – Kissing the frogs so that you appreciate the person when you meet someone that is what you’ve been looking for.
Kate Moss is used as an example in the article, she went from bad boy Johnny Depp to Good boy Jefferson Hack, then right back to another bad boy the infamous Pete Doherty and now she’s married to My Happy Medium – Jamie Hince.
Here Kate is portraying the symptoms of going for guys that are the total opposite of her most recent ex. I have friends that do this too – I was one of them for sure – I’d go for the cocky, fit boy (that would see other people at the same time, not call and never take me out) and then rebound with a sweet attentive lad (that would then either become Mr Possessive or become really arrogant and think that he could do better…) doh! Would I ever learn? Well the quick answer is yes… eventually, ha!
My colleagues and I agreed that your dating type preference when it comes to guys changes a lot as you get older, as I am stepping closer to the big three zero I have to be honest and say that I look for the whole package – I always think it’s important to really fancy your partner (you’d think this was a given, hmmm not always in my history) fancying them isn’t the only thing, far from it! They need to treat you well (as you should and more importantly how you deserve to be treated), make you laugh and have things in common with you.
You just need to make sure that all the other crap and other people’s perceptions removed, what do you think about them! Are they someone that you would be happy if your friend with a guy like him, you’d be happy if your friend was being treated with the same level of respect that you are by your current squeeze? If you get a pang in your stomach and think that you wouldn’t like your friend to be treated in the same way, then you need to look at your relationship and ask yourself if this is the guy for you!
I’m not asking you to imagine if you’d walk down the aisle with the guy, just remove yourself from the situation for a moment and put someone you love and care about in your shoes – what would you advise?
In conclusion if you change your guy type more often than you change your knickers, or you always go for the same guy – at the crux of it all, ask yourself if they’re making you happy. If they’re not, look at what it is that isn’t making you happy and don’t look for that quality in your next squeeze – by process of elimination you’ll end up with someone that possesses the qualities that you love and make you smile and you’ll just know. Bad boy/ good guy, tall/small, dark/ shaved head – it’s about what you think, don’t ever forget that!