Music video by The Saturdays performing Ego. (C) 2009 Polydor Ltd. (UK) Polydor Ltd. (UK)
I’ve started to think recently about the whole notion of that saying “he’s just not that into you”, you know the one that has been doing the rounds over and over again since that fateful SATC episode?
I’ve been guilty of using it (perhaps overusing it?!) annyyywaaayyy, it got me to thinking and wondering as to why we have been known to base our whole dating happiness, expectations and worth on the notion as to whether a guy is that ‘into’ you. I would bet my bottom dollar that nine times out of ten that, truth be told you’re not that into them either.
They leave you high and dry, sometimes not with even so much as the inevitable e-mail/ text/ phone call/ coffee (if they’re feeling really nice that day) with the ‘chat’. Especially I might add in Sydney! They just disappear without a trace.
A lot can be said for the resulting bruised ego, when more often than not, they’re not the types of guy you’d normally go for anyway, but you settle as they seem to be nice. It hurts that little bit more when the guy you weren’t honestly that bothered about isn’t that bothered about you.
Only thing is, if you’re settling from the offset it doesn’t really bode well and leads into all kinds of suspicious actions that turn you into a crazy person whose head has fallen sideways… Any of these statements ring a bell?
- How dare henot call me back
- Who does he think he is playing games with me
- I could do so much better, why doesn’t he realise what he’s got with me, he’ll never do any better, I did him a favour!
You know the score, if you haven’t been guilty of such actions I’m sure you can pin point someone in your friendship group. You know!
I think what’s important that take from this, is that it’s so important to never let your standards slip, ever! How would you feel if you went on a date with a guy and you were just someone to fill the time or to stroke his ego? You’d be a bit gutted don’t ya think?!
I’m not saying that every guy that you go on a date with you have to be floored with; yes it is true that some of the greatest romances can come from slow burners, at the bottom line though it is essential that you at least see potential and that you are not
just ‘making do’.
On the flip side, if you go on the date and there aren’t fireworks, but you’re enjoying the attention, if they suddenly go awol, aren’t texting or calling you – let them go! Don’t spend hours stewing thinking “how dare they?”, “who does he think he is?!”, “prick!” What is probable that they saw potential in you also (yeah some of them are idiots who are just looking to get their end away, we’ve all been fooled, but it doesn’t mean they’re all like that), but they didn’t see the long term so started to look elsewhere. No it’s not nice to hear, but you can’t force your feelings.
The way to hold your head up high is to understand that you weren’t sure either, let them go and move on.
Sitting dissecting every detail with your girlfriends, calling them every name under the sun and scowling at them across the dance floor when you next see them isn’t cool or mature, it didn’t work out, you know what, we weren’t that into each other, it was fun whilst it lasted – move on!
We don’t profess to settle in our places of work, the places we eat, our friendship groups of our wardrobe choices – so why may I ask, would we ever dream of settling on our potential love interest for a stroke of our ego?