Do you ever really know what you’re looking for?

Or… do you just know when it’s right? Forget the games, the rules, the chase and the bloody pedestal! When its right is it well, just
right?

I’ve heard many a tale of the ultimatum, marry me or I’ll leave you, give me a child or it means you don’t love me, meet my parents or we’re finished… you get my drift? Good 🙂

I guess what I’m exploring here in this post is the many conversations I’ve had with my girlfriends when they’re talking about their
current squeeze.

Quotes such as the following: “When it started he wasn’t that interested, but the more time we spent with each other, he realised how fabulous I was”… “I didn’t contact him for two weeks and sure enough he came back with his tail between his legs”… and even: “I kissed his mate and that made him realise what he was missing” etc etc

The same can be said when a relationship breaks down, the flurry of questions about yourself, what you did wrong, what you did right, what you could’ve/ should’ve done differently: “did I jump into bed with him too soon?”…  “Should I have spent more
time with his friends as he spent with mine?”or “should I have paid more when we went out?” When all said and done here people I can’t help but feel if it’s right and meant to be, that stupid shit we beat ourselves up about just doesn’t matter.

We’ve all heard the rules when it comes to sleeping with guys too soon and I’m inclined to agree that it certainly can’t hurt to wait. I guess part of me however does feel that if you’re meant to be with each other, the politics, too much too soon and the games  (oh the games) kind of don’t play a role. Don’t get me wrong, I know there will be screams of protest to the contrary, but I’m gna put my neck on the line and say that I do believe when (definitely when and not if! Positive mental attitude here people) when you’re both totally into each other and it feels right it doesn’t matter if you text a thousand times a day, jump into bed on the first date or shock of all horrors – reveal how you really feel you won’t see a boy shaped hole in the door, you’ll see someone beside you holding your hand that feels the same.

One of my good (guy) friends told me, if I guy likes you and is interested in entertaining more than just a bed time buddy hook up type, he will literally run through walls for you.

If he isn’t asking you out, if he only ever calls you between 10pm – 2M on a Saturday night and never just calls/ text, well just because (unless he looking for a boost to his ego) he just doesn’t see you in that way and isn’t that into you. The operative word here being that into you. It’s not to say he doesn’t think you’re hot, cute or funny or ammhhaazzinngggg in bed, he just doesn’t see you as his girlfriend-type.

So I’m sorry to say it, but if he felt that way at the beginning, no matter how hard you play by the rules, be aloof, pull his mate or
freeze him out in a bit to thaw him, cos that makes soooooooooo much sense (note insert sarcastic tone here) (we’ll touch on this in my next post) will you ever get over the fact that you had to win him around?!

How very idealistic of me I hear you cry, yes it’s all good in theory that you just know from the start of a relationship union you can jump straight into loved-up ville bypassing crying into your vodka martini town and hitching a lift all the way to marriage-shire, but sometimes guys do just need a gentle nudge in the right direction.

You can fool around with them on your terms, be a creature unlike any other and you can make them do the running, you can ever turn a potential non-starter into a fully fledged relationship – but, I can’t help but ask myself, is this the right way to go about finding ‘the one’?

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One thought on “Do you ever really know what you’re looking for?

  1. Pat Riarchy

    Talking about the only people you need in your life – we know that A Woman Needs a Man Like a Fish Needs a Bicycle

    Reply

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