If you could, and you knew it would work… would you push a
button to erase all of your dating history dilemmas: the long-term exes, the drunken
one night stands, and the friend of a friend that just didn’t hit the mark or
even the blind date? If you could and you know that it would work, would you
take it all away?
With the advent of Facebook, Twitter, Google and even
Linked-In to a certain extent it is becoming increasingly hard to remove the
who’s who of dating crap from the good ol’ memory bank in your noggin.
I had an experience lately with a guy that fell into ‘said’
category and was a friend of a friend that well, was a disappointment. After
the fleeting ‘romance’ ahem! He went AWOL, which is fine as the whole time we
saw each other he didn’t take me out on one date and was a big fan of telling
everyone that would listen that he was a ‘nice guy’ when the truth was quite
the opposite. He’s one of these people who constantly update their Facebook
status with messages that no one wants to read about the current woman in his
life… I managed to escape that being done to me, thank goodness!
I was on Linked-in about three months after we went our separate
ways and our mutual friend had told me that he had left the company he was
working for and has had two jobs since, I was intrigued, so went onto his
Linked-In profile, curiosity got the better of me as I knew he’d been looking
for something else when we were ‘seeing’ each other. After a look at his, and a
few other people’s profiles I logged off and returned to my work after lunch. Only
little did I know that a new feature on the site that highlights who has viewed
your page recently… Great! Imagine if
Facebook had that? CRINGE!
Within about two minutes I had a text message from him
saying “stop looking at my profile!” I started to compose a text explain why, and
then I suddenly thought…why?!
I just replied saying: ‘Don’t lie, you know you’re
flattered!” to which he responded: “I am yeah!”, whatever!
In the social media years of Gen X and Y it is increasingly
difficult to put your past in your past – Google doesn’t help either! The
Facebook relationship status has a lot to answer for, who’s idea was it to put
a broken heart icon there? Seriously?!
I guess on the other side though, everything we experience
in our lifetime makes us who we are as a person. We live from it, we learn from
it (most of the time) and we put our experience to use for future decisions to
hopefully avoid making the same mistakes again.
One of my very good friends recently said a very wise
comment to me:
“Forget what hurt you in the past, but never forget what it
taught you”. I guess sometimes it really is hard to forget; maybe this is because
we’re not meant to…
I also received some very wise words from my ex’s mum, of
all people, it was when I was going through the breakup and it really did
resonate with me:
“Everyone that comes into your life is there for a reason, a
season or a lifetime!” If it doesn’t work out for whatever reason, you guarantee
that it taught you something about yourself (reason), to help you through a particularly
hard time (season), to be your best friend, life partner or guardian (lifetime).
Suffice to say, why should we turn our backs on them and delete them from our
memory? Should we live and learn, what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger?
Similar to romantic partners, friendships shouldn’t be hard,
they should be easy and make you happy! You should have 100% trust and know you
can rely on them at all times never to let you down.
Just like relationships, if you’re arguing all the time, don’t
trust them or are increasingly upset or confused, take a step back! – If it’s
meant to be it will be, if it’s not wouldn’t you rather know now and learn from
it and be the person you’re supposed to be? Rather than the person you conform
to be to settle for what you think you’re worth?
SO I ask you again, if you had an off button to remove all
the history and hurt of failed romances would you? Or would you opt to keep
them there as a log of lessons learned to make you the person you deserve to be
and truly are at your core?
I know I wouldn’t change a thing! (Well apart from my
privacy settings, ha!)