The rules and what not to do when dating

Whilst surfing the net recently I came across an article on cosmopolitan.com.au that really peaked my interest, for obvious reasons: I’ve talked about ‘The Rules’ before in quite a lot of detail and also, it came to my attention that I very, very rarely adhere to them.

Here they are in all their glory, please refer to what my ‘rules’ have previously been as a point of reference as to what NOT to practice when dating, especially in Sydney!

  1. Be a creature unlike any other
    Being a creature unlike any other is really an attitude, a sense of confidence and radiance that permeates your being from head to toe. It’s the way you smile (you light up the room), pause in between sentences (you don’t babble on out of nervousness), listen (attentively), look (demurely, never stare), breathe (slowly), stand (straight) and walk (briskly, with your shoulders back). When a relationship doesn’t work out, you brush away a tear so that it doesn’t smudge your makeup and you move on!
  2. Show up to parties, dances and social events even if you do not feel like it
    Realize that you may not meet Mr. Right naturally and that you therefore must take social action immediately even if you don’t want to.
    Get a manicure and go out on another date or to that singles dance – do something to increase your chances of meeting men.
  3. It’s a fantasy relationship unless a man asks you out
    Don’t waste time on a fantasy relationship. You may have a good rapport with your doctor, lawyer or accountant, and you may find yourself wondering if he is interested in you romantically. How can you know for sure? If he’s never asked you out, then He’s Just Not That Into You!
  4. In an office romance, do not email him back every time he emails you unless it is business related
    On all non-business e-mails, responding once for every four of his e-mails is a good rule of thumb. Remember, you never know who has access to your e-mail, so keep all romance off the screen and save it for Saturday nights.
  5. If you are in a long-distance relationship, he must visit you at least three times before you visit him
    Remember, the first three visits are really nothing more than three dates… and on the first three dates we don’t have sex with a man or have him stay at our place overnight.
  6. When considering whether to use personal ads or other dating services, you should place the ad and let men respond to you
    It goes back to the basic premise of The Rules: Man pursues woman. When writing your ad, remember that every man has a type, a voice or a look he likes. There has to be a spark for him that attracts him to you, something that makes him find you unexplainably special
  7. If he does not call, he is not that interested. Period
    We know this is hard to accept, but it’s not that he hasn’t called because he’s busy, or because you didn’t smile or talk enough (or did too much). It’s not that he lost your phone number. The bottom line is, if he hasn’t called, he’s not that interested.
  8. Close the deal – Rules women do not date men for more than two years
    If you’ve followed The Rules, your man probably loves you and wants to marry you. Your problem is not if he marries you, but when! If it’s been more than a year, see less of him and think about dating others. You’ve already spent more than a year waiting for him to propose; do you have another year to wait?
  9. Buyer beware – observe his behaviour so you don’t end up with Mr. Wrong
    Love may be blind, but Rules girls are not stupid! How does he act in the relationship? Is he cheap on dates? Is he critical of you? Remember, The Rules are not about marrying the first man you are attracted to who calls you by Wednesday for Saturday night and buys you flowers. It’s about marrying your own personal Mr. Right – a man whom you love and whose character you admire and can live with.
  10. Keep doing the Rules even when things are slow
    Take care of yourself, take a bubble bath and build up your soul with positive slogans like “I am a beautiful woman. I am enough.”
    You must learn to accept that, as an adult, you can’t always rely on a friend to do things with you. Even if you don’t meet Mr. Right, going out – whether it’s a restaurant, lecture or party – is a chance to meet new people and practice The Rules.

Source: therulesbook.com/topten.

The rules I’ve been known to operate – wonder why I’m single hey?! Ha!

  1. Be a drunken idiot like no other (in the room)

Guys don’t like a babbling, incoherent obnoxious girl, don’t consume 70 million glasses of white wine, during, before or after a date. Girl, it ain’t pretty! It took me a while to get a hang of this one. I’d be desirable until the red mist descends over my eyes, cue all good impressions vaporizing faster than anyone caught in the line of my alcohol breath – classy! When the relationship doesn’t work out, you don’t cry into your margarita so that you fathom The Joker from batman – panda eyes and tear tracks in your foundation are never a good look love!

Looking good!!

2.     Crash parties that you weren’t invited to because you know ‘he’ is there

No you won’t look aloof and desirable, you’ll end up looking a drunk/ pathetic/ loser (all of the above) doof and most probably end up getting kicked out!

3.     Daydream constantly about the guy you’ve been on one date with imagining how many kids you’re going to have just because he added you on Facebook

Most probably to the detriment of your career, friendships etc as your mind wanders off to some faraway land that you’ve created for yourself, that quite frankly isn’t a reality, or even close for that matter!

4.     You’re bored at work, talk to the guy that has been e-mailing you, good sign! Then scare him off as you tell him your life story and you haven’t been on your first date yet (and it isn’t looking likely anymore)

Yup! Less than ideal, guys like the chase and like to get to know you gradually. They don’t want to know how may brothers and sisters you have, what you got in your GCSEs and what your first pet was called within 3 hours of e-mailing you to say hello! Not that I’ve ever done that, ahem!

5.     If you’re in long distance relationships – badger him to come and see you so he feels guilty and then resents you

If a guy wants to be with you and see you he will do everything within his power to make it work, trying to convince yourself that you can make it work by pushing him isn’t going to work. Also, ‘surprising him’ by visiting him unannounced also doesn’t go down well, especially when you catch them with someone else!

6.     I can’t actually say I’ve had a bad experience with personal ads, or any experience for that matter

Maybe that’s where I’m going wrong J Needy, desperate girl is looking for her white knight to rescue her from loneliness – anyone may respond asap!!!! P.s. I love you!!!! What you recon?!

7.     If he doesn’t call, it obviously means he’s lost his phone, you didn’t put your number in right, he’s really busy at work or all of the above!

He was sooo into me, he can’t possibly be not that into me, I refuse to believe it?! Yeah been there done that, got the t-shirt!

8.     Hang around waiting for six years for the man you love to even make a step towards moving in with you, then wait eight weeks whilst he decides if he really wants to be with you.

We know how that one pans out! NEXT!

9.     It doesn’t matter if he’s Mr Right or Mr Right Now – stick with it god damn it!

You know he’s not your type, you continue to see him, even though you know it’s not right for fear of being alone – yeah that’s the trick! A lifetime of unhappiness…

10.  Get too comfortable and let him see you as you truly are, if he loves you he loves you for you, right?!

Sit around in your comfy pants, don’t get your nails done because you can’t be arsed and let him take you for granted! Yeah that’s the way to a guy’s heart…

 

(Disclaimer if you do operate any potential relationships with this mentality – you will end up alone!!)

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2 thoughts on “The rules and what not to do when dating

  1. somebody

    Hi !! i’ve been in a number of relationship already and in a really good relationship right now, hoping that this would be the one,

    i’d just like to comment on something..i’m a guy, and would like to comment about our side of the set of rules above(the first one specified)

    i find the first set of rules, to be dumb advices that shallow women use to reel in RICH old guys with a long list of properties and a short number of years left.

    the dumbest of the rules for me are : (in no specific order)

    no.4: In an office romance, do not email him back every time he emails you unle…..
    – now this is actually a stupid rule that was probably copied from some movie they saw(seeing the 2 women who wrote this, i’m guessing it to be true)
    first of all, if the woman doesn’t email him back every message he sends her, the guy would feel unimportant and that she is way too busy for any intimate relationship, or the woman is seeing somebody already and doesn’t want to be attached. guys enjoy never ending chats and texts the first time they meet a woman. he wants to get to know her, and want to do it immediately, to avoid anything that the guy doesn’t like later on in a relationship, so he can pre-meditate on his decision to pursue said woman or not, also, any guy’s attention span is like a small child….really short, if you don’t give him enough attention guys WILL just lose interest and go off playing around(hobbies or whatnot)

    no.7 : If he does not call, he is not that interested. Period…..
    – this is a really shallow and paranoid advice, what if the guy has work ?? or is also following the dumb rule above?(referring to no.4) giving two advice that contradict each other is pretty dumb, what if the guys actually lost his phone? or got out on an emergency out of town business trip where cellphone reception has never been heard of? or maybe the guy is just shy or thinking twice of calling the woman, because he thinks that the women would think that he is stalking her, or a sudden call would annoy the woman and lose interest? or plainly the guy is just down on himself and thinks he is too unworthy to be given interest by the woman???

    no 8. : Close the deal – Rules women do not date men for more than TWO YEARS….
    – now this rule is as shallow as it gets, are you sure you want to marry somebody immediately after two years? .. what if the couple are not financially ready to be married?? what if the guy is waiting for a big promotion before he asks the woman to marry him?? and the rule even suggested seeing less of the guy after two years and think of starting to see other men, WTF? !?! ?, if women in more developed countries(America) are actually following this rule, no wonder they have the biggest rate of divorce anywhere in the world, you don’t see that in asian countries, because divorce is like a result of the couple’s FAILURE, any form of failure is unthinkable . . lastly the rule states.. “You’ve already spent
    more than a year waiting for him to propose; do you have another year to wait?” ….. do you get into a relationship just to marry your partner immediately ??? ONLY desperate women who are after their husband’s wealth do that

    i hope women won’t really follow this set of complete BS . . it could ruin their romantic and social life entirely

    BTW, the set of rules you operate seems REALLY OKAY if you ask me, if relationships doesn’t work because of your rules, it only means the guy isn’t the right one, or just an self-centered a**hole, TRUTHFULLY, guys want to be stalked, be comfortable with, email and chat, have a girlfriend(and wife) that he could consider a best friend, someone that he could get drunk with, play video games nonstop, share funny sh*t on the internet(even how disgusting or obscene they may be), and pretty much anything the girl is… guys who are turned off by a small detail in you, as i’ve said above he’s just a “self-centered a**hole”

    good luck on your future relationships! =)

    Reply
  2. Pat Riarchy

    EXCELLENT. We know that females DEMAND to be treated equally. Ergo, men should just reverse the gender and follow the rules. We also know that if men were more like females the World would be a better place.

    Reply

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