How to make every possible situation worse – The Wedding

Now I have been back for quite some time, just over two weeks to be precise, so I thought it was about time that I wrapped up the UK trip so I can blog more about recent goings on. I also wanted to free up some space so I can comment on some recent blogs/ articles in the media that have really caught my attention.

I’m sure I’m not alone when I say that I had one guy at high school that really caught my attention – both for the right and the wrong reasons. I’m sure it’s the usual tale of unrequited love. I was an awkward 13-year-old and had a HUGE crush on the most popular guy in my year, yawn! Shock, horror he didn’t return my affections and I was devastated, which on its own would be enough to make me a smidge depressed and resentful towards him. Only, he decided to take it one step further and decide to nickname me, Big Wig. Oh yes that’s right, he was the one that started the trend of people poking fun at my thick unruly frizzy hair (It’s alright for all the kids now, they have straighteners, all I had was a barrel brush, a hairdryer and not a lot of patience).

Cue my growing disdain for him as the tortuous high school years rolled on, he would date my best friends, laugh at me and generally be an all round nuisance.

I eventually learned how to stick up for myself and had my moment of crowning glory when best friend decided she didn’t want him to ‘go out’ with him anymore. (Funny how you call it going out in high school when ‘going out’ usually refers to the local bridge with a bottle of cider in tow – classy!)

When my friend asked me to call the arrogant boy, I jumped at the chance:

Ring Ring: Hello

Me: Hi it’s ****

Boy: Oh erm hi

Me: Jenny says you’re dumped*

Me: Promptly hang up

*What too harsh?! My bad…

Yeah we were never going to get on were we…

Cue the years roll by and I often saw him out round town, I still couldn’t get over my disdain for him, I’d be so off with him it was quite frankly very rude (upon reflection!). it even got to the point where he would ask my friends what he had done for me to no like him, ahem! Thank goodness he didn’t know or ever find out… that was until my best friend’s wedding, you know the one I jetted all the way back to the UK for?! Yeah that one!

He was one of the ushers as the groom was one of his oldest friends, so you can imagine the wedding did somewhat resemble a high school reunion. Which to be honest was lovely, the perfect way to see how much everyone had changed.

The ceremony was unreal, Jenny (yes the same Jenny what asked me to finish him for her 12 years ago) looked incredible! One of the most beautiful brides I’ve ever seen!

After the ceremony we all kicked onto the hotel, we had the Wedding Breakfast and the speeches were hilarious! Jenna’s father’s speech was so touching it brought a tear to my eye! The grooms speech brought many a tear to his own eyes, bless! Only throughout the whole ceremony, the Boy (well now man, but we’ll call him the boy for the purpose of this blog) felt the need to heckle throughout, always has to have the attention on him!

I bit my tongue and just carried on listening to the speeches. After the speeches we enjoyed the food and had even more drinks as the room was transformed for the reception.

The first dance, – Oh my! It was unreal they’d choreographed a whole routine, a complete surprise for everyone and it got literally everyone up on the dance floor.

The hours rolled by and before we knew it, it was only the wedding guests that were still around enjoying beverages from the bar, there really was no need!

Me and the girls all had a glass of sparkling with Jenny to toast her special day, it had been perfect, I was feeling the great atmosphere in the room and thought that it would be best to go and clear the air with Boy.

So I promptly dragged him outside and apologised for being a complete cow to him, well in general. He accepted my apology and made the fatal error of asking me why… I could’ve said oh never mind, but oh no, stupid intoxicated me decided to tell him EVERYTHING! The unrequited love, the name BIG WIG and my pleasure in the phone call…

To say he was shocked was putting it mildly, he explained that he had no idea and that he’d always had a little thing for me too! Yeah coouuurseeeeeee he has, because that’s what you do apparently when you like someone, create a nickname for them and get your mates to chant it to them, ha!

He then carried on and told me how he now plays football with my ex… Aaron… yep THAT ONE! He told me how great he thought Aaron was and how much of a great guy he was. It made me feel sick. For some reason in my drunken haze I thought I would be a good idea to kiss him! Yes that right, you did read correctly, kiss him! WTF! In front of EVERYONE at the wedding. Nice one! NOT!

Seriously, I wonder why my mind vacates me when I’ve had a few too many sparkling! I then proceeded to go back to his room with him and pass out, nice work! Neither of us made the breakfast the next morning, cue chatter and gossip about us spending the night together. Little did they know I’d woken up alone, fully dressed with my shoes still on, ha!

Now looking back I can see how unbelievably stupid this action was, if Aaron finds out he is going to know for sure my motivations! Not cool!

This whole episode reminds me of when Chandler meets up with a girl he made fun of at high school, check it out here!

Only my situation had a somewhat different outcome. How about the A-Z guide of how to make every possible scenario worse!!


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