I personally think that the man should pay for the first date if they have said to you “I would like to take you out for dinner”. I may just be a total brat, but there is also a lot of other things that show through from a guy paying for a woman. Firstly, it makes you subconsciously feel that the man can support you in a financial capacity, which is nice. It also shows that they are generous in nature and most importantly you know that they are trying to impress you and hence, like you!
Last week I was asked out on a date and I think the ‘asking out’ phrase went something like “we should go out for some drinks on Thursday”. Maybe I should have seen the “we” as a telltale sign that the bill would be joint share.
It started off as him buying the first round, please note, that I didn’t even do the pretend wallet pull out at this stage to offer money for the drinks, which I normally would do. Then after he finished his drink he just sat there and waited for me to finish my drink. On the completion of my drink he still sat there and on that note I jumped up and asked “what would you like to drink”. Normally at this line I would be ready for the ‘gentleman’ to jump up in protest and say “no, I will get it”. In this situation though no movements… still as a statue. In fact, I think a fire bursting throughout the bar at this stage could not have moved this guy out of his seat.
So after this round was bought, that’s how it went on the whole night- round for round. I didn’t complain and even though it was different to what I was used to I didn’t give it to much thought to the point of ruling out seeing the guy again.
Then the next night he came and meet me at a cute small bar on York street Sydney called ‘Stitch’– I would recommend checking this out and in particular the ‘high and dry’ cocktail! Yum… Anyway, he arrived and I was sitting with two girlfriends having a bottle of wine and he walked over to us with a drink for himself in hand. After he had finished that drink he got up and asked me if I wanted a drink and before I could respond had already walked away. My girlfriends actually called out to him and said “get us a bottle of wine”. Surely enough he strolled back to the table with one beer- no bottle of wine in hand. I remember the moment very clearly and I snapped back into my stubborn thinking that men should always pay for women. It was embarrassing that he did not get a drink for neither myself or my friends and it was apparent then and there that he would never.
When my friends left I brought the subject up with him (because at this stage to me he was just looking like a selfish tightarse- two qualities I’m not all that keen on in a partner). He started giving me the whole “equality” speech and it was very apparent to me at that stage that we were not on the same wave length (not that I don’t believe in equal rights- just not on dates- especially the initial ones ;)).
I discussed the topic with my friends and the consensus was that men should always pay on the first date. In fact my friend said to me that she has been out on a lot of first dates where she didn’t even bring her wallet. Also, to avoid the whole awkward bill ‘wrestle’ at the end of dinner the woman should excuse herself to go the bathroom and then the man should politely pay- another dating rule I have come up with in my time.
There is an exception though when the guy is short on cash, but even then it’s the effort they display- take a girl for a walk and get her a soft serve from McDonalds. In fact, I remember a really nice date a while back that I went on where I watched the sunset go down over Bondi with a 6 pack of Coronas and Sakata’s crackers with somePhiladelphiacheese. Planned and inexpensive, yet didn’t fail to disappoint and it ticked my boxes.
So let the lesson be learnt that if there is not a distinctive “I” and “you” in the asking out phrase and there is a “we” then you better wait till pay day to be on the safe side.