A very good friend of mine has a theory that all men fall into one of 4 categories (A, B, C and D)! I’ll let her run you through this theory another time but for the purposes of this tale, all you need too know is that the villain in this one story is an A – the alpha male, the player and a general rascal!
Back in my single days I had a very definite type; ….centre of attention, charming and a player! Yes I always thought I would be the one to change their bad boy ways!
I had been dating the pinnacle of this type for a couple of weeks, it was only early days and nothing too serious. My friends of course had filled me in on the stories, given me their warnings and yes, I thought I knew better and ignored them all!
We had been on a few non-dates and a lot of talked up dates that never quite amounted into anything….he’s a really busy guy (ahem)…That’s apparently why we haven’t quite managed to meet for that dinner/drinks/night out! So you can imagine my pleasure to receive a text from him whilst sunning myself on Bondi Beach one Saturday afternoon, whilst pondering which fabulous event I ought to attend that night. I read the text… he was actually inviting me to a mutual friends fancy dress party, result!
The pro’s and con’s list didn’t take long to write itself in my head, fancy dress, house party and hot boy in attendance, there wasn’t much else to think about! Of course my reply to him was a little breezier than the thoughts that were running through my mind….hopefully!
Once the perfect Pulp Fiction Mrs Mia Wallace (post adrenalin needle) Halloween outfit had been donned! I was feeling on top of the world when my good friend Emily and I hopped along to the party to make ‘the entrance of a lifetime’ in our fabulous costumes, (similar to Sandra Dee in the last scene of Grease, well at least that’s how it felt in my head!)
The party was fun spread over three levels. We spent the party splitting our time across the levels for a few hours, ensuring that we were spending just enough time flitting between the groups of attendees to flirt with said player and friends, but also not act like a desperate new date that is behaving like a helpless puppy and marking its territory. At which point my party persona took hold…generally a sign I have too much to drink is when I start hailing for shots and handing them round like a Charlie Sheen version of Santa Claus!
My friend and I popped to find the stash of tequila (yes it does make me happy) we’d hidden in the host’s room earlier. We tried and failed to open the bedroom door; it was locked, damn! The owner of the room must’ve nipped in for a little ‘quiet time’ with her boyfriend, never mind, we headed back up to enjoy the party, alas the tequila will have to wait …I guess! To my complete surprise we actually ran into her and her boyfriend still at the party, not in their room.
Me: “Oh babe have you locked your room, our booze is in there is it alright to grab it out?”
Host: “No I haven’t locked my bedroom what do you mean, let’s go see?”
We’re back downstairs impersonating Sherlock Holmes as we uses the secret adjoining balcony to go round to see if her balcony door is open. Returning after a few minutes she mumbles we can’t go in there at the moment and disappeared back up to the party. Curious!
Like the mature 26 15-year-old girls we are, my friend and I look at each other; grin deviously and decide to find out what scandal is taking place beyond the balcony door!
Slowly we crept, (mission impossible) styleee to poke our heads round the balcony door to ensure we have first hand gossip to share with the rest of the party over the tequila (when we finally bloody get them!)
The scene unfolds, a red devil dressed girl I’d seen floating around the party earlier was having relations of a sexual nature against the bedroom door from a not very clothed male, as I turned back to Emily who was just behind me giggling, then back to the scene, my stomach sank as I recognised the tattoo on the scantily clad chap! Yep you guessed it! The player, centre of attention and charming one ….behaving just like ‘a player!’
My face must have been a picture; mischievous school kid smirk turned oh so quickly in to jaw dropped gobsmacked picture of horror!
Now having never found myself in this situation before, I backed away not really knowing how one reacts to seeing the guy you’ve been dating romping with another girl.
Emily obviously wanted to know details of what I’d seen but quickly lost her devilish grin too when I told her. I’m not so naïve to think he wasn’t hooking up with other girls at the same time as me, but call me old-fashioned when I expect you not to it do it whilst I’m there at the party you invited me too! I should really have handed over to Emily to finish this story because if I’m honest the next 5-10 minutes is a bit of a blur.
I was torn between wanting to run away immediately and consume excessive amounts of wine to remove the image of the two of them that was already burning into my memory and confronting him then and there so he didn’t have the satisfaction of thinking he’d got away with it. My belongings and tequila (which I was in desperate need of by this point) were still in the bedroom! My humiliation levels were already high enough I didn’t need to add running down the street dressed as Mrs Mia Wallace with an over sized adrenalin needle sticking out my chest into the mix!
As the door opened a moment later the player plus devil in tow slipped out the room very sheepishly and went their separate ways, player to the toilet with other player friend to boast and Emily and I took this opportunity to finally get into the bedroom to get our things so we could make our hasty exit; minus wigs and props.
Once I had eventually managed to ease my gobsmacked face back to it’s original mouth closed composure we set about leaving…at the exact time Mr Player had obviously finished gloating to his friend in the toilets (didn’t take long!) about the bedroom encounter…bad timing or what (he definitely thought so about three minutes later anyway)
Now I like to think of myself as someone who carries them self with dignity and poise so thought to myself, just say something cool, calm and collected as you pass each other so he is aware you know and then depart the party leaving him feeling foolish and regretting his mistake and what he has now lost……
…..On my ‘cool, calm and collected’ stroll up to him, a not very cool, calm and collected rage boiled up inside me, through my body which resulted in not a single word coming out of my mouth but a swift right hook connecting with his left cheek! Whoops!
I was so surprised at this reaction that I even glanced over my shoulder to see where this mystery fist had appeared from, only to realise it was mine! A quick 180 turn back into the bedroom with Emily, who I swear amongst the shock was also laughing! Uh Oh What had I done?!
It was definitely time to leave! We grabbed our bags and set sail down the stairs towards the exit, from across the room I saw him in the kitchen, hand on face leaning up against the kitchen counter….OK is there anyway to regain that poise and dignity? I decided it wasn’t too late for the cool calm and collected approach (well maybe it was, but hey things couldn’t get much worse!) I detoured via the kitchen gave him a ‘kiss on the cheek’ dripping with sarcasm and quietly said “nice work.” Then about turned and left ….bottle of tequila in hand!