**Guest post – If only giving up was an option…

Words: andthegirls

Sometimes, I mean usually, or just when it’s not going my way… my stubbornness results in me being able to “draw a line” and “quit before I’m ahead” or just “Stop bothering you silly bint” that sort of thing and of course sometimes this includes finding it hard to put my finger on when to call it a day with a guy.

Like, when should we stop texting them first? Calling them first? Emailing them first? Or even Facebooking them first…!? You know those silly little games that we all naturally find so easy to play. I’m sure we’d all like to think we’ve got this process absolutely spot on… but the reality is, even hard faced, northern, man hating “I don’t give anyone a second chance” kind of girl, reconsiders*

 I consider myself to be laid back, not highly strung in the slightest and believe me, it generally takes a lot for someone to get under my skin but when you do you really do. Guys, not so much, one foot out of line mate and you know about it! So, I surprised myself when I was back in touch with a guy who (and I’ve tried to find the best way to put this) live ditched me…!?

You are the weakest link... goodbye

So before you frown, laugh or just get totally confused, I’ll explain.

 Agreeing to go for a drink is one thing, agreeing or being remotely compliant to leaving with no trace of the other, is another. So on Paddy’s day when I met a guy after work at The Hotel CBD for a vodka, I was in for a treat. Quick text on arrival; Me: “Are you here?” Pig: “The good looking one at the bar!” Apart from wanting to scream out loud, “Get over yourself you little clown” I appreciated the banter. Good start in my eyes, can’t be doing with Neville No Talk who at best mentions the weather, I’ve an app for that as well!

 Drink bought while waiting, up the requisition form he went. Until 10 minutes later when a friend turned up. Three is surely a crowd I thought. Oh, no hang on, trusted side kick turned up seconds later. So there we are, four young professionals in the middle of a City Bar, with a fit bar man working behind it I might add, all having a drink to celebrate Paddy’s day. Smashing.

Couldn't resist could I?!

Now if Steve McSleeze wasn’t being a total whopper at the bar, eye balling every big breasted, peachy back sided blonde or brunette girl, and his assistant wasn’t being the most complete and utter boring gentleman I’ve ever met, who I expected to say “What about this weather ay” I’d have stuck around. Knowing that my group of friends where at another pub down at The Rocks, The Glenmore (review to follow shortly), and I was here with Tom Dick and Harry, you can imagine I was planning my Batgirl flee the scene act. Oh look, 7.30pm – time to go and that! Obviously my courteous little self put out an invitation and one obliged. The one I wanted.

Eventually I was in the company of a fun crowd, girls and guys and, oh, another minor issue. A guy who I’d had an encounter with a few months ago. Polite smile and all that he walks over to say hi to me. No, to my… date. Sink or swim, sink or swim sink or… bar! No wonder I’m not in a band, I’m useless at playing the triangle and I couldn’t get the ringing out of my ears trust me. Oh come on, all friends here, everything’s fine, stay calm.

Two's company... Three's a master of musical genius!


Good catch up with the girls for me, good catch up with a few guys for him and what a surprise, the triangle is once more, a triangle. Not only where we sat in a triangle around a square table but seemed to be the only musical instruments making any noise. People around us were having bits of conversation between themselves which meant I was clearly going delirious. I needed a breather and my date needed the toilet, perfect timing. Drink, breath, drink.

 I’m finally breathing in fresh Sydney Harbour air and  just when I thought it couldn’t possibly get any worse, my lungs were too clear… where has he got too. Well ladies, one for a better phrase, He’d done a runner. Being all courteous and all, put a customer service call in didn’t I: Me; “Is everything alright?” (to my astonishment) Pig; “Yeah, just on the train home!”

 As much as I’m laughing now, at the time, my phone nearly left my ear, then left my head, slid down my wedding dress you know, a bit like Carrie when Big states “I can’t do this”, oh well ok I’m not that dramatic, but for once the cat got my tongue, my sarcasm was laid to bed and my finger touched “END CALL”. So, left with encounter able guy from the past and a table full of private conversations and the decreasing sound of a rusty triangle in my ears, I sat and waited a bit, because I’m cool like that you see… then got in the thick of a girly conversation. Ladies, first case of full on, live ditching. Hysterical.

How could you?!


The next day at work was obviously a treat  for all those aware of the ending and low and behold Mr I was confused between the toilet, bar so just jumped the train home sends a text message. Obvious response, none.

 Girls, the line had been crossed so I drew mine, I’d quit while I was ahead and mentally stopped wasting my time blah blah blah. Until the following Saturday when he text an apology. Now ok, I’d ignored you once and there wasn’t an apology in that one, so now I’m going to be fair (what happened to the line being clearly drawn?!) and I replied. Merely saying don’t worry yourself about making it up to me I’m not all that fussed. So there still was stubbornness, I just wasn’t being rude with it. What’s a girl to do, stay bitter and stubborn, be a realist about it and give him the benefit of the doubt… decisions decisions.

Decisions decision


Oh well it was clear that I wasn’t budging. Don’t want to know mate sorry, had your chance hadn’t you – blew it. Your loss (along with every other pick me up from being ditched and automatic response that girls have to guys who get on the wrong side of them comment!!) and I left it, but he didn’t stop.

 A little effort went a long way so it would seem. He invited me to go watch his band, made an effort with idle chit chat, explained and apologised that he lives far away (true) and all in all, was still holding qualities that I liked – banter being one of them. So, I gave in a little. I eventually thought better of being a stubborn cow and part of me found it still completely hilarious and a “one to tell the grandkids” sort of situation. Another experience in the dating book too… Went to see him play in his band, was out with a group of friends and him the Saturday after and I have to say he did redeem himself somewhat. I wasn’t easy to please and it’s a good job he is a good talker, or I’m just going completely soft! Either way, he’s no longer referred to as “pig” (laughing inside!) and I haven’t quite binned him off yet, we’ll see.

 Thinking to myself; How did this happen. Me, giving a guy a second chance, why didn’t I just give up the idea, keep the line drawn and the barrier only reachable with a pole – oh wake up to yourself woman. You’ve tried the “Don’t speak to me again you silly twerp” approach before, and it didn’t really get you anywhere, you’re still laughing about this and your Mother taught you never to give up…. right!?


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