I never thought I’d admit to being ‘experienced’ at the age of 24. By experienced, I don’t mean because the rubber on the tires of my ‘bike’ have been worn thin enough for the metal to scrape on the ground and hurt everyone’s ears. No, no, no – What I actually mean is, that I think It’s safe to say that I’ve had my fair share (experience) of guys in different, what’s the word… categories!
I’d like to think that we all know what I’m talking about, the typical ‘type’ we all think (no we know god damn it!) that we have and love: the hunk, the skinny, the blonde, the tall, the handsome, the rugby buff head to the ping pong player (if that’s your style obviously!). Maybe your type is even the teary type like ‘the one that got away’ or the really nice guy who we love but ‘we’re not in love with’. Finally is it the ‘cheats’ (sad face) who you’ve found yourself forgiving, maybe one time too many?
Whatever it is, and for whatever reason, it would appear that I’ve stumbled across a few, and some – twice!?
So for those of you who know me, this hard faced northern girl, with a back bone to boot and an eye brown lift she could put a dog down with, could this be the reason why!?
Well… over fantasist I’m a realist. A firm believer in “The grass isn’t always greener”, and “I’ll try ANYTHING once” (don’t worry, I’ve never been taken home in a police car… yet) and most of all and most importantly a human being.
It is a bit of a mystery to me, but what I feel really gives us woman the barrier, the strong willed character, the brush off attitude when it comes to men and of course, the stereotypical ‘type’ attitude that we all have or have once had. Not to mention those good old rose tinted glasses when you suddenly realise at a later date that the guy you’ve been seeing for the best part of four months is actually totally possessive, obsessive, insecure etc – Just me then!? Jesus tonight!
Is it the fit but Welsh guy, the cockney who’s a bit too tall and wears a hard helmet? The footy player who’s a total hunk but stood you up when you’d arranged dinner… because he had a girlfriend the whole time…!? OR is it because, the morning of the day you woke up, you were in a good mood?!
When I’m in a good mood, I’ll sing myself to work skipping along to my iPod. I’ll smile at people in the street. I’ll even acknowledge the guy in the coffee shop who knows my usual (Skinny Latte – large!). I may even, at a push (just jokes of course) talk to the colleagues you may not have a lot in common with and of course, let a guy buy me a drink at the bar after work (standard!).
On the flip-side, when I wake up in a bad mood: It is important that people in general don’t – talk, laugh, look, smile, blink, breathe, email me, suggest we hang out and most of all even ASK to buy me a drink… at… the bar*!! (*lifts scary put a dog down eye brow!) Come on, I can’t be the only woman like this. If I am, I request that you don’t tell me and let me live in blissful ignorance, because my friends, I might consider killing myself. Let’s face it; if I am indeed out there on my own, I’ve got two hopes – Bob Hope and No Hope! Nah, just touching on (just a few) of the moods we all know we can be in from time to time.
So in question, do we really have the ability to have a ‘good judge of character’ or does it depend what kind of mood we are? Don’t get me wrong, I have a barrier that would ultimately stop the a buff head footy team touching down, and a very short fuse when it comes to sleaze bags who are practically slipping in their own slime! I suppose you could say I’ve learnt a lot from a taste of some of these ‘types’ of guys who I’ve crossed, maybe learnt how to handle myself in these sleazy situations, be less naive or obviously just think, nah – don’t trust any guys, they’re all jerks!
It’s like everyone has a friend who’s completely loved up – and it makes you sick. You know the type – that friend whose guy showers them with gifts and is totally fit and has party tricks up his sleeve blah blah bleedin blah and don’t we know about it! But you remain happy for them, because, well, we are – aren’t we!? Flip reverse, we all have a friend who we know is too good for the little twerp she enamoured with for one reason or many, and again, we keep our thoughts to ourselves (guilty of not before now!). Why? Well let me tell you: because firstly, we don’t want to get into confrontation with a friend and someone end up upset, and of course, if this chick is totally warped by this little punk’s spell, not even a punch in the face will make her change her mind – She’ll realise for herself, one day!
So what do we do then? How do we eliminate these guys into knowing, or how do we let our barrier down and chill out so we can get to find out if the guy I met at the weekend isn’t a complete tool and is worth spending a bit of time with?
- Give ourselves a few options and have a few in toe until one drops off? A friend of mine let me into a bit of a method; Have 3 guys on the go at once with the first one being the ‘regular fling’, the second being the guy you ‘Like spending time with’ and last but never least (I say that, but subconsciously you’ve already put them in order of fitness… no!?) the one who you ‘talk to on a regular basis’. With them slowly moving up the rank, one drops off, one comes on etc etc.
- Stick with our stereotype “Male Requisition Form”. Ticking the boxes off in your head as you get further and further into the date; Is he fit? (don’t even tell me that isn’t the first one!) Good clothes? Not Welsh? Has Facebook? (stalking purposes obviously!) Good job? Nice car? Nice hair? Right size? Nice shoes? Sporty? The list is endless! I’ve even met a guy wearing a high visible jacket and thought “I wonder if he’s going to bother me in the day by emailing me… well, NO, the lad is in a high viz for god sake – probably can’t even use a computer! (Alright that’s probably the harshest thought I’ve had, I’m not a total cow – honest!) But can you see how much thought we put in to these things! How many have been ticked? Is he worth a second date? Oh god ladies, we’ll never get anywhere like this other than in a right tizz because Mr Perfect isn’t here yet!
At the end of the day, we all hope to find the perfect guy. And the only few words I can think of to describe the perfect guy for me, remembering that every guy is different, is “He who considers me”. What do we till this happens? My own answer is, HAVE FUN! However you want to. You don’t need to be hurting everyone’s ears with the sound of metal from that bike with the pretty little handle bars to do this either… (but even if you do, SO!) Even if he is 19 years of age (G to the U to the you know who you are!). Or he isn’t your usual ‘type’. I’m not saying get into bed with every guy you meet, but what is actually wrong with having people come in and come out of your life, adding to your experience of your socially chaotic life! Well in my eyes, absolutely nothing.
YOU chose what mood you’re in daily. YOU have the ability to “judge your own character”.
We’re only young in life still.