Okay so we all have a theory about when you should play it cool, ramp it up and when we should feel ‘comfortable’ when texting/ phoning/ tweeting your current squeeze.
One of my very good friends, Julie (I‘ve introduced you to her before) believes that every guy needs to have ‘the chase’ when it comes to their current object of affection (no I’m not referring to women as objects, it’s a well-known phrase don’t ya know).
If the girl is there on a plate and too ‘available’ the guy rapidly loses interest. If they’re mysterious and just out of reach the guy is often left wondering: who else is she seeing, she’s obviously off somewhere being all popular and fabulous! Maybe I need to pin her down.
So I couldn’t help but think following our conversation that this may just be where I am going wrong! If I have to hear the following statement one more time I may just cry into my cocktail holding mitts, wait for it… drum roll please:
“I think you’re an awesome girl, I’m just not looking for anything serious just now. If I were looking for a relationship you’d totally be the type of girl I’d want to be with… but I’m leaving the country in a few days/ just out of a serious relationship/ a commitment phobe and have no plans of changing!” (Note: delete as appropriate) (Translation: I appreciate that you’re a nice person, but I’m just not that into you!)
I guess sometimes you have to admire a guy for being honest… sometimes! I received this gem of a text about a year ago following a number exchange on a night out, I text him a week later asking if he fancied meeting for a drink, trying to be independent, you know! Got this back (bearing in mind that we’d merely spoke for 10 minutes and hadn’t even kissed)
“I’m actually just looking for a physical thing at the moment, if you’re keen give me a call.” – What am I thrills on tap?! I deleted his number immediately, if not sooner!
When I was in my first (and only) long-term relationship I was so switched on and strong when it came to the perfect balance between being mysterious (only seeing him when he contacted me) and still appearing interested (not always free when he asked – especially not if he asked me the same day! But making effort at the same time).
So I know I am capable of not appearing like I’ve already named all our kids and chosen the suburb I’d plan to grow old with them in! I’m just waaayyyyy outta practice of appearing breezy! LET THEM CALL YOU, LET THEM ASK YOU OUT etc etc
So I need to get back into the practice quick smart! Don’t get me wrong I’m all for independent women standing tall and proud and biting the bullet when it comes to telling a guy you like them and asking them out (how very modern). As with everything however there is a balance.
I’ll keep you posted with updates about how I go. (Cos that’s what we do here).