Adventures of an e-bacheloress, instalment #2

I recieved another email request shortly after ‘Bob from Paddington’. This time it was a nice email to say ‘hi’, an opener according to the author, who claimed my profile caught his eye.  

As I’m sure most of you will understand I didn’t have time to reply for the next four days – between work, working late and more work, coming home and responding to emails was the last thing on my mind (get in line, behind wine, dinner and a bit of telly!).

So, in the absence of my reply, I receive the following….

My head says say something funny, my heart says say something sweet, but my fortitude says, say something daring. The truth is I know not what to say to someone whom I don’t know. In any case, the communication lines are open, and I’ve made the tumultuous first move, riddled with disaster and uncompromising fear. Your move my dear. 🙂

Good god! How full on is this? Did he write an email in normal speak and then run the thesaurus through it?  Two days later I get this…

This is my last ditch effort to try to communicate with you. Nothing lost nothing gained. I guess I’m a little confused, cause I got an email confirmation from you confirming the lines of communication were opened, but then nothing. I’m not even sure if this will find you well. I’m about to press send…here goes.

Am I being too harsh or is this just starting to get creepy?

Are you too an e-bachelor or e-bacheloress?  If so, I’d love to hear your stories by leaving a comment below.

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3 thoughts on “Adventures of an e-bacheloress, instalment #2

  1. Pingback: Guest post** Seven Tips for Safe Online Dating « Dating101Sydney's Blog

  2. Pat Riarchy

    Right. Got it. When contacting a female don’t ever do it more than once. Excellent. And be vary careful of the actual words you use to convey an emotionor expression. Got it. Best not to really. Excellent.

    Thanks for the tips on dating females and what not to do. There are so many things nnot to do it’s difficult to remember them all.

    Actually. I’ve just had a brilliant idea. Noting that females demand to be treated equally and, according to females,
    1. Whatever a man can do a female can do better
    2. Females are the masters of relationships.
    3. Females know exactly what should be said and done when meeting someone new which is why they openly criticise men’s ice breakers.
    4. Females are innately capable of running countries and corporations
    5. Females are super communicative compared to men.
    6. Females are naturally nurturing.
    7. Females have a natural urge to merge.
    8. A man approaching a female and chatting to her can induce HORROR in his victim
    9. Females demand ALL the privileges of men.
    10. The single men available to females are not good enough for females.
    So, since females would obviously do a far better job of it then why don’t we men start treating you equally as you demand and let you make the decision on who you fancy and making the first move and being charming and humorous.

    It’s an even greater idea because females don’t like sex. So when a female asks a man out and pays for him she can drop him off knowing she had a great time and didn’t feel obligated to spoil it with meaningless sex. We know that females can only enjoy sex after a strong emotional attachment is made in a long term committed relationship with a man who has a steady full time job.

    Then you females can’t figure out why men don’t want you.

    If you want a man then do what you expect of men. Any female who refuses to do this is a Female Chauvinist Pig because she refuses to treat the genders equally. What man wants to go out with a Female Chauvinist Pig? You go girls. We’re waiting.

    Reply

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